The Parting Glass
by Runawaybaby555
Summary: Something terrible happens to Spencer, and she finds herself slowly moving backwards as the world around her continues to move forward. Just like The Parting Glass, she says goodbye. She can't take care of herself, or others, anymore, and Aria, along with Toby later, find themselves taking on Spencer's original role as they nurse her back to health. SPOBY/SPARIA FRIENDSHIP
1. Chapter 1

**I've just been crazy posting stuff these past few days, and I wanna introduce you guys to a new multi chapter story that I've been working on. Toby is not A (or at least, they haven't found out that he's A yet. Haven't decided), so in this story we see a side to Spencer that, supposedly, we haven't seen before, if you take away her breakdown throughout 3B. Even on the show, I don't think we've ever seen Spencer ****_scared_****, because even throughout her breakdown she remained strong. So this story will enlighten on what would happen if the tables were to turn and she were to finally let her guard down and let someone else take care of her.**

**Now, this first chapter is a little violent, but that's it as far as violence and anything that could push the rating upwards goes. This is a T rated story, promise.**

**Updates won't be NECESSARILY frequent, but I'm going to try, because it's a lot of fun I'm gonna be honest with you :D So enjoy this opening chapter, and I'll try to get the next one up later this week. And, as always, REVIEW/favorite/follow/WHATEVER to let me know if you like it or not! Much love, as always :)**

* * *

Spencer Hastings hummed to herself as she leisurely strolled down the sidewalk in downtown Rosewood. For whatever reason, she found herself in a much better mood than she had been for the past week, and she was perfectly okay with that.

Last week, she and Toby Cavanaugh had broken up. Sure, she was the one that had cut the relationship off, but that didn't mean that she didn't feel bad doing it. But with everything going on in her life- the A-team, finding out who killed Alison, and keeping up with school were just a few examples- she found herself becoming more and more distanced from him, and she realized that it wasn't fair to him. At first she was upset with her decision, but eventually she learned to accept that she had done the right thing. She wanted, more than anything, for Toby to be happy, and she could tell that that wasn't going to happen as long as he was with her. If they just needed time to explore their options and grow as separate people, than that was perfectly fine with her.

"Spencer!"

Spencer whirled around to the sound of a familiar adorable British accent, and, sure enough, she was met with a familiar set of friendly brown eyes and pearly white teeth.

She smiled back at him. "Hey, Wren," she said warmly as he jogged up to her. "What are you doing out this late?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Wren said with an eyebrow raise, and she giggled in response.

"Just trying to clear my head. You know… with school and everything."

"I can only imagine," Wren said with a nod of his head. "Not to mention all of the pressure of being a Hastings."

"For the brief 72 hours that you were engaged to my sister, you kinda catch on fast," Spencer joked, and Wren just laughed again. After composing himself, his smile vanished.

"I heard you and Toby broke up."

"Well, damn," Spencer said, mainly to herself. "News in this town travels way too fast."

Wren ignored this comment as he stepped forward slightly, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. "I was wondering… maybe I could take you out to dinner sometime?"

Spencer bowed her head. He was so… _sweet_. And she couldn't deny that a part of her really was attracted to him.

But she couldn't. Not now. She was doing so well by herself. She wasn't ready to add someone new to the equation just yet.

"I'd like that, Wren," she began, still not looking him directly in the eye, "but I can't. Not now at least."

"Oh," Wren wilted. "Well… alright. Just let me know when you feel right about it."

"I… maybe," Spencer started, but then took back her words.

No. She couldn't lead him on.

"Wren, you're a really great guy, but I'm not sure how right I feel about this. You dated Melissa, and she's still incredibly mad at me for that to this day. If you and I were to date, it would make things really uncomfortable between me and her."

"I don't think it would," Wren argued. "I'm sure she's gotten over it right now."

"Well then you clearly don't know her," Spencer said with a shake of her head. "She never gets over _anything_. She could hold a grudge for years."

"Well that shouldn't come between what we feel about each other," Wren said earnestly.

Spencer was getting impatient now. Wren wasn't getting it. "Like I said, Wren, you're a great guy. But…" Spencer could feel her voice begin to falter slightly. "I would just feel like I would be using you to get over Toby, and I wouldn't feel right about that, and I know you wouldn't either."

Wren's face fell completely, and something changed in his eyes. Spencer couldn't quite pinpoint it. She just decided to continue.

"Besides, I… I feel that deep down, I'll always have real feelings for Toby."

"You and Toby broke up, though," Wren said coldly, and Spencer was startled by his sudden change in tone.

"I know! But…" She was suddenly at a loss for words. How could she explain her situation to him without revealing too much?

That was the thing. She couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Wren," she finally said, and then proceeded to walk away.

She continued to walk down the sidewalk, and found herself quickening her pace. She wanted to get as far away from Wren as possible. She didn't feel at ease around him. She didn't like that she had to do this to him. Soon, she found herself in a full out sprint down the sidewalk, running until her sides were sore and her stomach ached. Even so, she still continued to run, despite the pain.

Soon, she was abruptly stopped by a powerful yank on her arm.

"OW!" she screamed, but someone clasped their hand aggressively over her mouth. She surveyed her surroundings, and found that she was in an alleyway. There was a dumpster next to her, and a few trashcans on the other side of her. None of that was as shocking of a sight as the person in front of her.

Wren was hovering over her, murder in his eyes, as reached his hand further downward toward the buckle of his belt.

"Wren," Spencer squeaked, but he roughly slapped her across the face to keep her quiet.

"Shut up!" he violently whispered, and Spencer widened her eyes in fear. What happened to the sweet, lovable Wren who had given her his vodka soda at dinner last year? The Wren who massaged her bursa sac in her kitchen and told her not to let her family get to her?

The Wren who had claimed to always be there for her?

Spencer quickly reached up to her tingling cheek and felt a welt forming, but he grabbed her hand and pinned it against the wall. Tears formed in her eyes as she helplessly tried to flail out of his firm grasp. "What are you doing?!" she cried.

"I said SHUT UP!" he shouted, his British accent no longer sounding so adorable and charming. Spencer kicked him in the shin, and he doubled over for a brief second.

"HELP! SOMEBODY HEL-"

Before she could complete her desperate plea for help, Wren threw her against the wall, now putting his full weight on top of her lithe body. "Next time you scream, I won't be so gentle," he growled.

Spencer weakly nodded her head as Wren reached down to the zipper of her jean shorts and roughly pulled them down to her ankles. "Why are you doing this?" she managed to whisper. At this, Wren looked up at her. The ferocious look in his eyes was still there, and Spencer was finally able to figure what she had seen in his eyes earlier; the emotion that she wasn't able to pinpoint before.

Lust.

"I want you, Spencer," he snarled. "I _need_ you. _All_ of you."

He reached up her blouse and cupped her breast in his hand as he gave it a tight squeeze, and she yelped in surprise. It was loud enough for him to take her and slam her against the wall.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!" he shouted. Spencer closed her eyes in pain as she felt pain spread throughout the back of her head, which had hit the wall at a bad angle. She felt herself being forced away from the wall and onto the ground, and she had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming.

It didn't matter how hard she screamed. No one would hear her. No one was out in Rosewood this late at night. Spencer was trapped.

As he continued to force himself onto her, something in Spencer finally gave up. She let her body go limp and just let him insert himself inside of her.

She was done. She was gone.

She was alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the awesome reviews guys! Be sure to keep it up! Here's another chapter for you :)**

* * *

"Yes, Dad, I'll be home in an hour," Aria groaned into the phone as she walked over to the couch in her boyfriend, Ezra's, apartment. She heard Ezra trying to suppress a giggle in the background, and quickly shot him a playful glare. It shut him right up.

"I… NO, we are NOT going to have sex!" she snapped, appalled, as she sat on the arm of the couch. "We just finished dinner, and I'm going to help him clean up and be right home. So just chill, okay?"

There was mumbling from Byron on the other end, and Aria visibly relaxed. "_Thank_ you," she said. "I love you, too. Bye, Dad."

"So, _he's_ definitely coming to terms with our relationship, huh?" Ezra teased as Aria pressed "end" on her phone and threw it on the armchair next to the couch. Aria huffed in frustration as she got up from the arm and sat on the cushion next to Ezra.

"Oh _yeah_," she said sarcastically. "He's all on board."

She leaned back against the back of the couch and closed her eyes, and Ezra placed his arm around her. "Don't let him get to you, okay?"

"Too late," she said as she turned her head toward him. At this, Ezra gave her a mischievous grin. "Well, then I guess that's better for me."

"How come?" Aria wondered out loud as she sat up.

He leaned forward and chastely planted a kiss on her lips. "Because you're cute when you're mad," he whispered seductively as he pulled away, now a mere inch away from her face.

Aria finally cracked a smile as she kissed him back. "Well, you're cute when you're _lying_," she mumbled against his lips.

Just as the kiss was deepening, their make-out session was interrupted by Aria's phone ringing, and she and Ezra broke apart.

"I swear to God if that's my dad again-" she began irritably.

"Just ignore it," Ezra suggested as he tried to lean in again, but Aria just left him hanging there, leaning forward with his lips partly pursed, as she got up from the couch.

"Can't," she said curtly. "He'll only assume the worst."

"Which is…?" he began open-endedly, only to earn an eye roll and a laugh from Aria as she picked up the phone. But as she picked it up, examining it from a distance, something in her face changed.

"Aria, what's wrong?" Ezra asked worriedly.

"It's Spencer," she whispered. She looked up at Ezra in concern. "She never calls this late at night unless it's important. I have to answer it."

"Go ahead!" he said understandingly, and she answered the call.

"Spence? Is everything okay?" she said into the phone.

There was rapid talking on the other end of the phone that Ezra couldn't make out, but he _could_ make out the draining of all color in Aria's face.

"What's wrong?" Ezra mouthed nervously, but Aria wouldn't answer. She wouldn't even look him in the eye.

"Spencer, _where are you_?" she said urgently as she clumsily reached for her keys and purse that were on the armchair. Ezra noticed that her hands were fumbling and shaking, and she couldn't firmly grasp anything. He quickly got up and grabbed her purse and keys, placed them in her free hand, and enclosed her fingers around them for her. She finally met his eyes, the fear in her own prominent. "I h-have to g-g-go," she mouthed tremblingly.

"Go! Go!" he said hastily as he rushed her out the door. He opened the door for her, and she dashed out of it, still on the phone with Spencer, without so much as a second glance behind her.

Spencer was in danger, and all that mattered to her right now was saving her.

* * *

"Just stay on the phone with me, okay?" Aria's soothing voice said on the other end of the phone. Spencer just nodded her head as her entire body convulsed with sobs. It was dark, and she was cold and tired and weak. She couldn't move. It had taken every ounce of strength left in her to dial Aria's number, and she was now lying on the ground with the phone only halfway pressed to her ear.

Wren was gone. Wren had left her there.

"Spencer? Are you there?" Aria said concernedly. "Spencer!"

Spencer realized she hadn't given Aria an actual response, so she weakly replied, "Yeah, I'm here."

"Okay, I'm pulling up to Town Center," Aria said into the phone, and Spencer could barely make out a car door slam on the other end. "Where did you say this alley was?"

"I don't know," Spencer said tearfully. "Aria, I have no clue where I am!"

Aria could feel tears welling up in the back of her own throat. In her eyes, Spencer was the strongest person she knew. It didn't take a lot to break her.

She had never heard Spencer sound so scared.

"I'll find you," Aria said determinedly. "I'll find you if it's the last thing I do."

She kept her phone to her ear as she raced along the sidewalk, trying her hardest to look for Spencer, but it was so dark. She couldn't see anything or anyone. She could barely make out her own feet in front of her!

After about 5 minutes, just when she thought she might have to give up, she finally made out a dark blue dumpster just ahead of her. She hopefully ran up to it, and the sight before her was enough to shatter her heart.

Beside the dumpster was her best friend, in a fetal position on the ground. Her shirt was ripped, and her shorts were partly undone. Her thin arms and legs were littered with ripe, greenish bruises, and there was a gash on the side of her head, and another one on her shoulder, that was gushing blood, but none of that was as sad as the sound of the rapid-fire breathing coming from her mouth.

"SPENCER!" Aria screamed as she ran over to her.

Spencer feebly raised her head to see a familiar tiny, nimble figure darting toward her.

"Aria?" she whispered as she tried to sit up, but she immediately plopped back down to the ground, shaking vigorously.

Aria got on her knees and immediately pulled Spencer into a hug. "Shhh," she said calmly. "I'm right here. You're okay."

Spencer let out a hiccupy sob as she buried her head into Aria's embrace. "No I'm not," she whimpered. "He… he _raped_ me, Aria!"

"I know," Aria said sadly as she stroked Spencer's knotted hair. "I'm so, so sorry, Spence."

Spencer's breathing only worsened. "I… I tried to scream, but… h-he wouldn't let me, and-"

"It's okay," Aria said quietly as she caringly kissed Spencer's forehead, which was resting in Aria's lap. "You don't have to tell me what happened just yet. Let's just get you to the hospital."

"NO!" Spencer protested immediately, startling Aria. Spencer looked up at Aria with absolute terror in her eyes. "Wren works at the hospital, Aria. They _know_ him. I'm… I'm scared."

Aria chewed on her lip, conflicted. Spencer _needed_ medical care immediately, but Aria didn't want to push Spencer into doing something that wasn't comfortable doing.

She had to go through enough of that tonight.

"Where do you wanna go? Back to your house?" Aria suggested.

Spencer violently shook her head, which was still in Aria's lap. "No," she whispered. "My parents are home. They can't see me like this."

Aria huffed in frustration. The _one time_ Spencer's parents were actually _at_ their house, Spencer needed them _gone_. How inconvenient.

"I'm going to take you to my mom's apartment, okay?" Aria said softly. Spencer widened her eyes, the terror in them still evident, but Aria wasn't having it. "Spencer, you _need_ to get to somewhere safe. You can't just stay here all night! You could be seriously hurt!"

"I don't want your mom to see me like this," Spencer whispered. "It… it's _embarrassing_."

"Spencer," Aria said compassionately, "nothing about this should be embarrassing. It's _serious_."

Spencer let out a shaky breath as she sunk further into Aria's embrace. Aria could see that this was killing her; as much as it was a shock for Aria to see Spencer like this, it must have been an even newer feeling for Spencer. Aria knew that Spencer hated looking weak in front of people, especially her friends. She always felt like she had to protect them, like she had to be strong for them. And now that she couldn't, everything was going to fall apart.

_I won't let that happen_, Aria thought to herself. _I won't let everything fall apart. I won't let anything bad happen to Spencer. It's my turn to protect HER._

"Spencer, please," Aria whispered desperately. "Let me help you. Let me take you to my mom's apartment. You'll be safe there. No one will hurt you there. My mom and I will take good care of you."

Spencer's breathing finally started to slow down, even if not completely, as she reluctantly mumbled, "Okay."

Aria hesitated for a second, wondering how she was going to get Spencer to her car. She had run so far away from where her car was parked. She could run back to her car and drive over, but she was afraid to leave Spencer by herself. What if something happened to her? But at the same time, she knew that it would put too much strain on Spencer if she had to walk all the way to her car.

"I'll be right back," Aria whispered into Spencer's ear as she slid from under Spencer's weight and gently placed Spencer's head on the ground. She then scrambled to her feet and sprinted at top speed to her car as Spencer looked longingly after her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews, I'm so glad that you're liking the story so far! And shout out to onceuponarubymoon, your review really made me smile. Thank you SO much! You really hit on everything that I was trying to hit on with this story, I'm SO happy you're enjoying it.**

**So here's another chapter, and hopefully you'll like it just as much, if not more (hopefully even more) than the first two. So enjoy, and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

* * *

"You're coming over?" Ella asked, slightly caught off guard. "So _late_?"

"Mom, please," Aria begged. "It's an emergency. I'll explain everything later, but right now I don't have time."

Aria had dialed her mom's number on her cell phone as she got in her car and started to drive back to where Spencer was.

"I… alright," Ella said. "Did your dad do something? Are you two fighting?"

"No, Mom," Aria said with an eye roll. _Although that wouldn't be surprising_. "Look, I have to go. _Please_."

Ella could hear Aria's voice cracking on the other end, and it was frightening to her. "Okay. Come on over."

Aria then hung up the phone without even saying goodbye as she slammed on the gas. When she got back to the alley, she found Spencer in the same position that she was in before.

Only this time, her breathing had worsened.

"You… you _left_ me!" Spencer squeaked, hurt and obviously betrayed. "You said you would never leave me!"

"I'm sorry," Aria said earnestly as she helped Spencer to stand up. "I had to get the car for you. But I'm here now."

"I was s-s-so scared," Spencer whispered, looking up at Aria with her soft brown eyes that were now filled to the brim with tears.

Aria could feel herself crumble under Spencer's broken gaze. "I'll make it up to you, I promise," she claimed, her voice cracking. "I won't let you out of my sight from now on."

Spencer nodded her head as Aria helped her to the car. It took a while since Spencer was so much taller than Aria, but Aria finally managed to help Spencer into the front seat of her car. Aria then proceeded to get in the driver's side and, with one final helpless glance at Spencer, drove off.

* * *

Ella plopped herself down on her couch, turning on the TV to a rerun of _Seinfeld_ without really watching it. She was more focused on Aria. She had sounded so scared and upset when she had called, but she hadn't even bothered to elaborate on what had happened. Ella knew that her daughter wasn't well known for letting people in, but this was _ridiculous_.

There was a rapid, persistent knocking on the door. _That must be Aria_, Ella thought exasperatedly, as she got up from the couch to the door.

When she opened the door, the sight before her was not one she was expecting.

There stood Aria, but she was not standing properly. She was standing with wild eyes and bloodstains covering majority of the clothes that she was wearing. But Ella had a feeling that the blood was not coming from her own daughter, for draped around tiny Aria's back was her best friend, Spencer Hastings.

"Oh my god," Ella shrieked as she led the girls into the apartment. Aria helped Spencer limp over to the couch, where she promptly collapsed in a fit of heavy breathing. Ella was shocked. She had never, _never_, seen Spencer like this. Ella grabbed Aria's arm.

"What happened?" she whispered.

Aria opened her mouth to answer, but then thought better of it as she looked back at Spencer, who was barely holding it together on the couch. She turned back to her mother. "It's not my place to say. You'll have to try to get her to tell you."

Ella sighed sadly, and walked over to Spencer. She kneeled down next to the couch as she rubbed Spencer's arm soothingly. "Breathe, sweetie," she whispered as Spencer's breathing quickened, but then eventually slowed down slightly as Ella continued to rub her arm.

"Now," Ella sighed, "do you wanna tell me what happened so that I can help you?"

Spencer's eyes widened, and she looked up at Aria, who simply shook her head. She knew that her mother could help Spencer, but Spencer needed to be willing for her to help.

Spencer then averted her eyes to Mrs. Montgomery, who was looking at her with so much care and concern.

Way more care and concern than her own mother had ever shown her.

Spencer suddenly realized how comfortable she felt with Mrs. Montgomery; she had known her for years, and she had been nothing but kind and understanding toward Spencer. Spencer could've easily considered her as her own mother, and here she was, sitting in front of Spencer, begging for a way to understand everything that had happened so that she could take care of her as though she was her own daughter, too.

Spencer closed her eyes as a few tears escaped them, and came clean. "I was raped."

Ella's mouth dropped open in shock, and she immediately sat further up and pulled Spencer into a hug. She wanted to know more, but all that mattered right now was comforting her daughter's best friend, who was now sobbing into her shoulder.

Aria stood by, watching all of this happening. She watched as Spencer completely lost it in her mother's arms, and wanted more than anything to switch places with her mother so that _she_ could be the one comforting Spencer.

But deep down she knew that she couldn't. She could be a friend and a sister to Spencer as much as she dared try, and she would try _very_ hard for Spencer's sake. But it would still be no use. She had never been in a situation like Spencer was about to go through, and she wasn't sure if she could handle seeing Spencer in this state. It was too much. Aria turned her back to her mother and her best friend as she let a few tears escape her own eyes.

Behind her, she heard sniffles, and the sound of the pair pulling away from each other. "You're lucky," Ella said quietly, and there was the smallest hint of a smile in her voice. "This new apartment came with a rape kit. I'll get you treated immediately, and then we can take you to a doctor for your injuries-"

"NO!" Spencer shouted on impulse, causing Aria to whip around. Ella looked shocked, and even a little hurt, by this outburst, but remained calm. "Why not?"

Spencer bit her lip, trying to come up with a good excuse. When none came to mind, Aria stepped forward. "They would immediately contact her parents, and she doesn't want them finding out about this," she lied.

Ella turned around to look at Aria. "But this is serious," she argued. "She could be seriously hurt!"

"We'll just see what we can do with the rape kit, and then figure it out from there," Aria reasoned. "Please, Mom?"

Ella took note of her own daughter's tear-stained face, and nodded. "Okay. Spencer, here. Let me help you into the bathroom."

"Actually…" Spencer began, "I… I'd feel better if Aria did it."

Aria widened her eyes in surprise, and Ella turned around to look at Aria. "Is that okay with you, honey?"

"Yeah! Yeah, of course!" Aria said instinctively as she walked over to help Spencer up. As she did, Ella got up and whispered in her ear, "There's a special compartment in the bottom of the third drawer on the right."

"Got it," Aria whispered back as she started toward Spencer again, but Ella pulled her back.

"Are you okay?" she asked, a small hint of worry in her voice.

Aria opened her mouth to answer, but then closed it. "I'll let you know," she said cryptically as she went over to the couch and helped Spencer limp toward the bathroom.

Once they got there, Aria shut the door and had Spencer sit on the ledge of the bathtub. She reached into the third drawer on the right of the kitchen sink and, sure enough, there was the compartment where the rape kit was stationed. She pulled it out and set it on the counter. She then turned around toward Spencer.

"Alright, you're going to have to strip down for me," Aria said cautiously. Spencer's eyes widened, and she rapidly shook her head. Aria sighed and sat on the ledge of the tub next to Spencer.

"You have to, Spence," she whispered. "I… I know it might cause you to _remember_ some things that you'd rather forget, but-"

"Okay," Spencer finally said glumly. "I'll do it, okay?"

She then proceeded to take off her shirt, but winced in pain. Aria stood up and helped her to try to maneuver the shirt up her arms and over her head. She then helped Spencer with her shorts. Aria threw the clothes to the side, and then stood back up and took a good look at Spencer. She now noticed even more bruises and cuts than she had originally noticed. Just under her bra, right on her rib cage, were about 6 new bruises, and right on her rib cage was a gash deep enough to stick the tip of your pinky finger in.

Aria's eyes immediately welled up with tears all over again. "Oh, Spencer," she whispered, and her sympathetic tone was enough to send Spencer into an entirely new fit of sobs. Aria walked back over and embraced Spencer, who was shaking both from crying so hard and from being freezing cold in just her undergarments. Aria held onto Spencer in her tiny arms as she rocked her back and forth on the edge of the tub, trying her hardest to quiet Spencer's cries and keep her warm at the same time.

"I don't know how, but I'll get you through this," she whispered into Spencer's hair. "I_ promise._"


	4. Chapter 4

**Only 3 reviews last chapter? C'mon guys, I know you can do better than that! On the other hand, shout out Sgdp1261 for always reviewing. I'm sorry if I'm boring you, but I PROMISE things will pick up. Hopefully you'll like this chapter, and the chapter after is one of my personal favorites, so hopefully you'll like that one too :) if you guys are good, I'll post the next chapter faster! So enjoy, and review/follow/favorite/WHATEVER to let me know if you like it, cuz I honestly have no idea!**

* * *

After about an hour, Aria had dressed Spencer's cuts and bruises, given Spencer an emergency contraception, and done whatever she could to nurse Spencer back to health. She then helped Spencer into the shower, and had walked out of the bathroom.

"You're dad called," Ella said as soon as Aria walked back out into the sitting room. Aria was confused for a minute, but then the realization hit her, and she smacked her palm against her forehead in embarrassment. "I didn't call him," she groaned. "Now he probably thinks-"

"Don't worry," Ella said as she held up her own phone. "I told him you're spending a couple nights here."

"Can Spencer stay, too?" Aria asked warily. "She can have the bed, and I'll take the couch. Or, _you_ take the couch and I can sleep in a chair or something-"

"Breathe, Aria," Ella said calmly, and Aria let out a shaky breath. Ella then patted the seat next to her on the couch, and Aria sat down next to her. Ella took Aria's hands in hers.

"You said you'd let me know if you were okay or not," Ella began. "Remember that?"

"Yeah…" Aria said softly.

"And?"

"I still don't have an answer," Aria said honestly. "But it shouldn't matter how I am. It matters how Spencer is!"

"This affects you, too," Ella pointed out. "She's your best friend."

"I know," Aria sighed, a lone tear escaping her eye and trickling down her cheek. "But… how do you deal with something like that, Mom? This whole thing has changed her _completely_. I know it has! And I… I don't know if I'm ready to deal with this change in her. I'm… really scared for her, and I don't know how I'm gonna be able to help her. What if I just make things worse?"

"You won't," Ella said soothingly. "Spencer loves you, alright? You both love and care for each other so much, and that should be enough; it should be enough for you to be patient and accepting with her while she's going through this, and it should be enough for _her_ to be patient and accepting of you trying to understand what she's going through."

"What if I can't?" Aria whispered. "What if I never understand?"

"Then that's okay, too," Ella whispered back. She gave Aria's tiny hands, which were still enclosed in hers, a friendly squeeze. "You're trying, and that's what matters. You'll get her through this; I know you will."

Aria sighed as she leaned against the couch cushions. Ella reached over and coerced a lock of hair away from Aria's face, looking deeply into her little girl's caring, concerned eyes.

"It's very sweet of you to be doing this for her," Ella said, praise clear in her voice.

Aria chewed on the inside of her cheek, pondering this. "It's really not," she finally said as she stood up from the couch. "But it's not like she has anyone else. And I'd do anything for her. She's done everything for me, after all. Why shouldn't I do the same?"

"Well, she's lucky to have you," Ella said, standing up, too. She leaned over to kiss Aria lovingly on the forehead. "I know I am."

Aria stepped back slightly, confused. "Where is this coming from?"

Ella cast her eyes downward, avoiding Aria's questioning gaze. "I…" she began, before tears of her own started to spill from her eyes. "I've had to keep reminding myself this past hour of how lucky I am that it wasn't you…" she croaked.

Before more tears could spill out of her mother's eyes, Aria wrapped her arms around Ella while she started crying. "Just promise me you'll stay safe," Ella whimpered.

Aria rubbed calming circles along her mother's back. "I promise, Mom," she whispered.

Although these days she still wasn't entirely sure.

* * *

Spencer shot her eyes open and darted them around the room. Where was she?

Suddenly, everything that happened the previous night came back to her. Wren. What he did. Aria coming to get her and bringing her to her mom's apartment. Then she realized the searing pain that was spreading throughout her entire body, and how sore she was. It _all_ came back to her.

Wren Kingston had raped her. She had rejected him, and he took his anger out on her by forcing himself on her. Spencer's head started pounding, and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes at the mere thought of it. In her mind, she could vividly picture Wren's angry, shameless features as he screamed at her, as he threw her against the wall and the ground, as he did all of the things that Spencer never suspected he would ever do to her.

The door to the bedroom creaked open, and Aria poked her head through the doorframe.

"Hey," she said as she walked into the room. She sat on the edge of the bed next to where Spencer was lying. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Spencer admitted, and she noticed a certain sadness pass through Aria's hazel eyes as she said this, but Aria tried to shake it off as she nodded her head. "Yeah, I can only imagine," she said, realizing the terrific weight behind her words, because she really _could_ only imagine.

Spencer closed her eyes. "What time is it?" she asked.

"Around 10:30 in the morning," Aria answered. Spencer adjusted her eyes to take a closer look at Aria. She noticed large bags under her eyes.

"Where did you sleep?" Spencer mumbled sleepily, but she didn't hide the suspicion in her voice.

"I wanted to give you the bed, so I slept on the chair in the sitting room," Aria said, only to earn a horrified look from Spencer.

"Clearly not _well_!" she croaked. She had no doubt that Aria was tiny enough to fit into an armchair in a position that she could easily sleep in, but she still couldn't have been comfortable.

"I'm fine, Spence," Aria said softly. "It's not like I was able to sleep anyway."

Spencer lowered her head. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault," Aria said caringly as she ruffled Spencer's hair. "I don't want you to ever feel like you should have to _apologize_ for… for what happened. But…"

"But what?"

Aria chewed on her lip. "Spencer, are you ever going to _tell me_ what happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, Aria," Spencer whispered.

"I know," Aria said, "but I need to know. I need some sort of context to work with here!"

"Why?!" Spencer snapped. "Why is it that important? All you need to know is that I got… you know…" She held back on the word _raped_ as though she were about to say _Lord Voldemort_. She felt that something bad would happen the minute the words left her lips.

But Aria could infer, and it was enough for her to go off on a tangent.

"Because I need to know what could possibly make him want to do this!" Aria snapped back. Spencer flinched when Aria raised her voice, and Aria took note of this and visibly softened. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't wanna see you suffer. But…" She sniffled before continuing. "I was so worried about you last night. I… I thought that I would never find you." A tear finally rolled down Aria's cheek and landed on the bedspread as she said, even more quietly, "I thought I had lost you."

"You haven't," Spencer said earnestly. "I'm right here."

"Exactly," Aria said as she swiftly wiped the tear off of her cheek. "And I wanna _keep_ it that way. Which is why I need for you to tell me what happened so that I have more context on the situation."

"Context for what?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe to _kick his ass_?" Aria said furiously as she stood up from the bed in anger.

At this, Spencer let out a raw laugh; it oozed with darkness, and it sent chills straight up Aria's spine. "You're not going to be able to take him Aria," she said, her chilling laugh still hanging in the air like a dead fly.

Aria didn't find any of this funny.

"Fine," she said stubbornly, "then I'll get someone _else_ to take him. I don't have to kick his ass, but _someone_ should."

"No one needs to kick Wren's ass," Spencer said, still in denial.

"Yes, they do!" Aria shrieked. "He needs to be punished for what he did to you, Spencer! Look at you!"

"I am looking at me, and I'm fine!" Spencer fought back.

"_Bullshit!_" Aria spat. "You're far from fine!"

"Aria-"

"No!" Aria interrupted. "You have this insane mindset that you need to be strong for all of us, but I'm here to let you know that you don't have to do that now! It's _okay_ to let your guard down and let someone else take control when you can't anymore!"

"Well, maybe I don't _want_ to let my guard down!" Spencer shouted. "Maybe I don't _want_ someone else to take control!"

Aria bristled slightly, but then softened once more as she returned to her position on the edge of the bed. "Then what do you want, Spencer? Just tell me what it is that you want."

Spencer froze. She thought about everything that had led to where she was now. She thought about why Wren acted out in the first place. He was angry, yes, but what was he so angry about? What could she have possibly done to get him so riled up?

Then Spencer thought of all that she had done to him. He had chosen her over Melissa, and Spencer had played it as though she were interested, but then completely shut Wren down when she chose Toby over him. Ever since then, it was a never ending cycle of her and Toby breaking up and Wren coming to her rescue.

And she still hadn't shown her thanks.

_No wonder Wren is angry_, Spencer thought. _No wonder he hates me so much_.

_But he played it as though he loved me_, a different voice in Spencer's head whispered.

_He was just giving in to his emotions_, one voice said.

_But they weren't emotions_, another voice argued. _They were sexual desires_!

Could she really know that for sure, though?

She couldn't believe she actually felt _guilty_ for him doing this to her.

As Spencer's brain went to war with itself, she realized that every thought, every voice, everything that happened all led back to the same thing.

Toby.

She loved Toby so much, and as much as she knew that he would never do what Wren did, she couldn't help but be unsure of it. She never thought _Wren_ would do such a thing, and look at what happened!

She needed to talk to Toby. She couldn't keep this to herself. She had to let someone else in.

"Spencer," Aria repeated, "what is it that you want? Just tell me, and I'll get it."

A silent tear rolled down Spencer's cheek as she whispered, "Toby. I want Toby."


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright guys, so this is KIND OF a filler chapter, but it's got some cute Sparia fluff, so I think you'll enjoy it :D ALSO, it includes the inspiration for the name of this story! So enjoy, and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Thank you for the very sweet reviews last chapter, I read and ADORED each of them.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Billy Joel OR Ed Sheeran, or any of their songs.**

* * *

"How is she?" Ella asked Aria through the phone. It had been a week since the accident, and, unfortunately, Ella had a teaching job to attend to, so she had had to leave Aria and Spencer at the apartment while she went to school over the past 7 days. Aria shrugged on the other end.

"She's resting, which will probably help eventually," she offered up. "But she keeps waking up from nightmares."

"About?"

"What do you think, Mom?" Aria answered manifestly.

Ella sighed. "Poor thing. I can't imagine how traumatized she is."

"I know," Aria agreed. "And to make matters worse, I can't do anything to make it better. I just feel so… helpless. I feel like I should be doing more to help her, but I don't know how!"

Ella sat back in her chair as she pondered over this. "You know, when you were little, you used to have nightmares a lot, too."

"How did you deal with them?" Aria asked curiously, and she could hear her mother smiling on the other end.

"I would sing to you."

"No way!" Aria burst out laughing. "What did you sing?"

"_Vienna_ by Billy Joel," Ella said sheepishly, and Aria giggled again.

"I think I remember that one!" she said excitedly. "How does it go again?"

Ella cautiously glanced through the door to her classroom out into the hallway. She was on her planning period at the moment, but passing students could still be able to hear her. She walked over to the door and shut it before breaking out into the first verse. "Slow down, you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile. But then if you're so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid?"

Aria listened intently to her mother's voice, and was immediately soothed by it. It was very clear and precise, but also sweet to the ears. It was just what she needed right now. "Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?" Ella continued. "You better cool it off before you burn it out. You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day."

While listening to her mother sing, the next verse came to Aria, and she started to sing along. "But you know that when the truth is told, that you can get what you want or you can just get old. You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through."

Ella paused to hear her daughter sing, and then joined in on the final verse. "When will you realize, Vienna waits for you."

They both giggled into the phone, forgetting, if only for a moment, the current situation at hand. But suddenly, the reality in front of them hit them in the face, and they were sucked back in. Ella sat back down in her chair at her desk.

"You have a lovely voice, sweetie," she said sweetly. "Use it with Spencer."

"You think that could help?" Aria said warily, averting her eyes toward the bedroom door.

"I do."

"But… that's the only verse I know," Aria said unsurely.

"I didn't say you had to use _that_ song," Ella suggested. "Pick any song that you think will help her relax a little."

"Okay, I'll try it," Aria said determinedly. "Thanks, Mom. You're the best."

"And don't you forget it!" Ella said confidently as she blew a kiss into the phone before hanging up.

Aria ended the call and threw her phone on the couch. She knew that she could sing to Spencer all she wanted, and maybe it would sooth her to the point that she could eventually sleep peacefully, but it wasn't going to bring her back to health.

_She really needs to see a doctor_, Aria thought gloomily. _And a therapist. These kinds of issues just can't go unattended._

But for now, a song would have to suffice.

She sat on the couch in her mom's sitting room and tried brainstorming which song would be best to sing to Spencer. Instead of a song, however, she landed on a memory.

* * *

_"Okay, so the three countries that were involved in the Triple Alliance during World War I were Germany, Italy, and Austria-Hungary," Spencer said to herself as she glanced through her flashcards. She then turned to Aria. "And the three countries involved in the Triple ENTENTE were…?"_

_"What?" Aria said abruptly, poking her head up from its resting position on the bedspread. Spencer sighed and got up from her desk chair and over to her bed, where Aria was lounging with earphones in and a book in front of her. Spencer grabbed the book out of Aria's hands and examined it._

_It was _A Tale of Two Cities_._

_"Aria!" Spencer exclaimed, throwing the book at her. The book hit Aria on the arm, and sent her nearly all the way to the other side of the bed._

_"Ow!" Aria yelped, once she had landed back on the comforter. "That hurt!"_

_"Don't be so dramatic," Spencer said passively._

_"Dramatic? Do you know how easily I bruise? I am a TINY PERSON!" Aria argued._

_"A tiny person who knows better than to read Dickens when she should be studying for her History final!" Spencer snapped, putting her flashcards on the dresser so that she was now in a ready position to argue, even if only playfully, with Aria._

_"Well, YOU know better than to throw objects at me," Aria retorted._

_"Maybe," Spencer said with a smirk. "Doesn't stop me from doing it."_

_Aria just rolled her eyes and slipped her earphones back in. "By the way: Britain, Russia, and France."_

_"What?" Spencer said, confused._

_"The three countries involved in the Triple Entente?" Aria said with a clever grin before looking back down to her book._

_"See?!" Spencer exclaimed. "You do know it! Now if you would just STUDY-"_

_"I don't understand the point of History," Aria interrupted with a shrug of her shoulders. "I'm going to be an English teacher anyway. Why do I need to know all of this?"_

_"Uhh, so you can get into college to BECOME an English teacher?" Spencer said with a knowing glance. "And besides, what about when you have to teach on historical fiction? What are you gonna do when you know nothing about the era?"_

_Aria just droned Spencer out as she became consumed with the music booming in her ears and the words on the pages before her. Dickens bored most people, but she found his language and prose truly masterful, and she felt completely relaxed as his words flowed through her mind and the sound of Ed Sheeran seeped into her ears and through her veins._

_Before she could dissolve into the wisdom of Sydney Carton and into the beautifully written poetry of the British ginger singing soulfully into her ears, she was brutally interrupted by Spencer yanking the earphones out of her ears._

_"Hey!"_

_"What are you listening to?" Spencer said challengingly, and Aria tried to yank the earphones back, but Spencer held them to her ears while standing, putting herself in a position too high up for Aria to reach. As Aria started to stand up on the bed so that she could grab them back, Spencer's eyes grew wide. She turned back to Aria._

_"You listen to Ed Sheeran?!" she said excitedly. "You LIKE him?"_

_Aria reached up and grabbed the earphones back, but tossed them onto the bed instead of stuffing them in her ears._

_"Yeah," she answered with a shrug. "He's only gotten popular fairly recently, but I like a lot his stuff."_

_"So do I!" Spencer exclaimed, grabbing Aria's arm._

_"Wait," Aria began, caught off guard, "you LISTEN to music?!"_

_"I have SOME life, you know!" Spencer said defensively. "I know his entire album by heart."_

_Aria pondered over this for a minute. "Okay, prove it."_

_Spencer stood thoughtfully, and then broke out into a verse of _Give Me Love_. "Give a little time to me, we'll burn this out. We'll play hide and seek, to turn this around…"_

_Aria was surprised, but not surprised enough not to join in on the next verse, only she sang it a third up to create harmony. "And all I want, is the taste that your lips allow. My my, my my-y, give me love!"_

_The two squealed in excitement, feeling like they were twelve years old all over again, but they didn't care. They had just found something completely new to bond over._

_"I KNEW there was a reason we became best friends!" Spencer said happily as she threw herself onto the bed, excitedly planting a wet kiss on Aria's cheek._

_Aria giggled. "Okay, just for that, Dickens away! I'm helping you study for History!"_

_Spencer pumped her fist in the air as she pulled the flashcards that she had set aside back into her lap. "Okay. Matthew Perry. Who was he?"_

_Aria raised her eyebrows. "I thought he was the guy who played Chandler on FRIENDS."_

_Spencer just laughed at this. "That's the ACTOR. This is the guy who opened up trading ports and won rights for America to trade with Japan in 1854."_

_"Well screw that!" Aria said bluntly. "You know what? I take that back. No more studying. I'd rather listen to Ed Sheeran."_

_Spencer sighed, but then cracked a smile. "Fine. But put it on speaker!"_

_Aria smiled mischievously as she took out her earphones from her iPod and put on _Grade 8._ She set her iPod on the bedside table, and then lay down on Spencer's bedspread, closing her eyes. Spencer joined Aria on the bedspread, and the two of them just lay there as the music filled the room, making them forget about their upcoming test and creating a happy atmosphere for them to relax and enjoy life._

_ You're strumming on my heartstrings_

_ Like you were a grade 8_

_ But I never felt this way_

_ I'll pick your feet up off of the ground and_

_ Never ever let you down_

* * *

Aria smiled as she remembered this day. It was during a happier time. Mona was in Radley, and the new A hadn't entered their lives yet. Most importantly, Spencer was happy. Sure, she was her uptight, stressed out self because of finals coming up, and her family was most likely putting a lot of pressure on her, but she was still happy.

Which she wasn't now.

Ed Sheeran. Spencer liked Ed Sheeran. But would it be enough to calm her down?

Suddenly, Aria was jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of Spencer screaming bloody murder.

_Worth a shot,_ she thought as she raced off to the bedroom.

* * *

"GET AWAY FROM ME! PLEASE STOP! WREN, _PLEASE_!"

Spencer screamed and cried as she blindly thrashed and threw her arms left and right, kicking the covers off of her in the process. There she lay on the bed, completely exposed, now woken up from her dream.

It was just a dream. But it was so much more than that.

Spencer's vision blurred with tears as she began to lose it all over again. She dissolved in a fit of sobs on the bed as she covered her face with her hands, telling herself over and over again that what happened in her dream, hadn't happened. That she was safe.

But it _did_ happen. And she _wasn't_ safe.

Her biggest nightmare had fully turned into her reality.

Spencer continued to cry, but heard in the background the sound of a door being slammed open, and footsteps padding forcefully against the ground until they reached the edge of the bed.

A pair of little arms encompassed themselves around Spencer's narrow frame, and Spencer let herself fall into them as more tears escaped from her eyes. She was too delirious to look up to see who it was, even though it could only be Aria or her mom, but she wasn't delirious enough not to hear the sound of a soothing, bell-like voice that swirled effortlessly through a familiar melody:

_Of all the money that e'er I had_

_ I spent it in good company_

_ And all the harm that e'er I've done_

_ Alas it was to none but me_

_ And all I've done for want of wit_

_ To memory now I can't recall_

_ So filter me the parting glass_

_ Goodnight and joy be with you all_

Spencer knew that voice, and she knew that song. She looked up to see a familiar pair of Bambi eyes looking down at her, and immediately recognized Aria's face as she cuddled Spencer closer to her heart, and Spencer felt herself go limp in Aria's arms as she began the next verse:

_Of all the comrades that e'er I had_

_ They are sorry for my going away_

_ And all the sweethearts that e'er I had_

_ They would wish me one more day to stay_

_ But since it falls unto my lord_

_ That I should rise and you should not_

_ I'll gently rise and I'll softly call_

_ Goodnight and joy be with you all_

Spencer felt her breathing start to slow, and she felt her eyes droop. She wasn't completely gone, though, but Aria could tell that she was almost there, so she moved on to the final verse, in an even softer voice than before:

_A man may drink and not be drunk_

_ A man may fight and not be slain_

_ A man may court a pretty girl_

_ And perhaps be welcomed back again_

_ But since it has so ordered been_

_ By a time to rise and a time to fall_

_ Come fill to me the parting glass_

_ Goodnight and joy be with you all_

_ Goodnight and joy…_

Spencer's eyes were now fully shut, and just before she was fast asleep, she felt Aria remove her from her lap, tuck her back under the covers, and gently kiss her forehead as she whispered, "Be with you all."

* * *

**For those of you who don't know, that last song was The Parting Glass by Ed Sheeran (told you it had inspiration for the title in here!) Well actually, it's an old Irish folk song that he did an arrangement of, but it's on his album so ya know... as you can imagine I had Ed Sheeran's entire + album playing in the background when I thought up this chapter haha.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for the reviews guys, I'm so happy you liked the last chapter! Sgdp1261, totally check him out, he's extremely talented. He's mainly an acoustic artist, and just like good ole Billy Joel, Ed Sheeran is a REAL musician. His music is REAL, which is why I love him so much. And ShadowsOnTheMoon, I love that line too :) I love everything about that flashback! It was pretty fun to write/a nice break from all the drama that this story has. And for those of you asking about when Hanna, Emily, and Toby are going to come in, PATIENCE! They will, promise. You will get your dose of Spoby, and Hanna and Emily eventually will find out. But you'll have to keep reading/wait for it ;)**

**Also, you guys should totally check out this project on YouTube that Troian Bellisario, who plays Spencer, is in. It's called Lauren, and it's on the Wigs channel, which is the #1 channel for scripted drama on YouTube, and it's sponsored by FOX. Troian plays a woman in the army who had been raped and wants justice. The second season of it shows her in the aftermath right after it happened, and it's great if you want to get a good idea of what will be going on with Spencer in this story and all of her emotions. Also, it's just a really good project, and it's really enjoyable to watch. It sheds light on a really important issue, which is that these kinds of issues DO happen, and it's even more common for a woman to get raped in the military than to get shot. It's really enlightening. Troian is incredible in it, this might just go above Spencer 2.0!**

**Here's the next chapter, and it's one of my favorites. Starting with this chapter and moving upward is just a STREAM of exciting chapters! I really hope you guys like them. Keep it up with the reviews, you guys are doing a great job so far! I'm loving it! Also, I snuck in a reference to the show in this chapter. See if you can spot it, and tell me in the reviews!**

* * *

Spencer opened her eyes slowly, and was amazed to find that she hadn't woken up shaking, crying, kicking, or screaming. She actually seemed… peaceful.

The door creaked open, and a smiling face appeared in the doorway. Spencer smiled back for once.

"Hey, you," she said as Aria walked forward and sat on the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked curiously. "Any better?"

"A little, actually," Spencer admitted. "I think it helped that I was able to get some sleep worked in."

"Yeah, I bet," Aria agreed. "I was worried about you."

Spencer bowed her head. "Is it okay for me to say that I'm worried about myself too?"

"Of course, Spencer," Aria said genuinely. "You don't have to keep that to yourself!"

"I just…" A tear rolled down Spencer's cheek. "I can't stop thinking about it, and it… it can't be healthy, Aria!"

"This whole _thing_ isn't healthy, Spencer," Aria stated. "It shouldn't have _happened_. But it's reasonable for any person to get upset about it, and it's just as reasonable for you to be upset by it."

Spencer just looked down to the comforter, and Aria was amazed to see that, for the first time, Spencer was at a loss for words. She reached forward and grabbed Spencer's hands in hers.

"Spencer, I know that I may not be much help, but I want to be here for you. I want you to be able to open up to me, because _clearly_ you're going through a hard time. Shutting me or anyone out isn't the answer here."

Spencer looked up at Aria. Caring, wise, passionate Aria. She knew that Aria wanted nothing more than to help her, but Spencer didn't know how to explain this all to her.

How could she tell Aria that she was terrified? That she was afraid to leave this apartment, to leave this _room_, because the mere thought of having to lay eyes on someone of the opposite sex turned her blood to ice? That she felt like she was permanently tied to this bedpost because, if she were to leave, everything would change? She would have to face the world in front of her, and she wasn't ready for that. The old Spencer Hastings told the world to hit her with her best shot, but _this_ Spencer Hastings? She wasn't so sure.

This Spencer Hastings was living in a world that was moving too fast for her. She couldn't handle it. _At all_. And she wasn't in the least ready to admit that. Especially not to Aria, the person she had known for years.

All of the girls, even Spencer herself to an extent, knew that Spencer was the glue that held the four of them together. If she broke, they all broke. And yet, while she wouldn't always admit to being scared, she always felt like she could confront Aria, like she could turn to her when all else failed. She had always felt like she could tell Aria anything, but now that the tables had turned in such a sick way that she didn't feel like that anymore. Somehow, before, she could open up while still holding herself together, or at least holding everyone else together, but she didn't want Aria to see that she couldn't do that now.

Aria saw how conflicted Spencer was, just with one look in her kind caramel eyes, and gave her hands, still interlocked in hers, a tight squeeze. "C'mon, Spence," she whispered. "Don't you…" She took a deep breath, and then said the one thing that she knew, or at least really hoped, would get to Spencer enough that she opened up.

"Don't you think that you could use a little Team Sparia?"

Spencer whimpered at the mention of their old nickname. She really _could_. But she just continued to look up at Aria with uncertainty. Aria looked visibly hurt. "Oh god, Spencer, please say something."

Spencer opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She wanted to come clean. She wanted to tell Aria that she was scared. She wanted Aria to hold her and make all of the bad things go away.

But she refused to allow for that to happen. Not because Aria couldn't handle it, but because _Spencer_ couldn't handle it.

Spencer just closed her mouth again and rolled over so that she was no longer facing Aria. She rested her head on her pillow as she looked out the window. She could feel the weight shift on the mattress as Aria stood up.

"You know what? Fine. Be this way. Be the stubborn girl you've always been. Be that _one person_ that won't let anyone in, and just continue to get consumed with your own secrets and your own feelings and _everything_ that is bottled up inside of you. I _tried_!" Aria could feel tears in the back of her throat as her voice increased in volume with each sentence. "But know this: if it were _me_, if _I_ were under the covers right now, in your position_, I_ would've opened up to _you_."

At Aria's outburst, Spencer rolled over on her pillow and looked up at Aria. Then she said, without any emotion, the last thing that both of them expected her to say:

"I guess that's the difference between you and me."

Aria's heart sank. "Spencer..."

"Please just leave me _alone!_" Spencer said in frustration as she took the pillow next to her and put it over her face.

There was something in Spencer's voice that made Aria realize that, as much as she claimed she didn't want to talk about it, she wanted Aria to keep pushing. She wanted Aria to be there.

"I can't do that Spence," Aria whispered. "I need for you to talk to me. Holing yourself up in this room isn't good for you."

"It seems to be working in my favor," Spencer bit back cleverly, her voice muffled by the pillow resting on her face.

Aria gulped loudly, but she refused to give up. She walked up to the bed and kneeled down so that she was at Spencer's level. She took the pillow off of Spencer's head, and took her finger to Spencer's chin as she turned Spencer toward her. "You admitted that you were worried. And that you're thinking about it a lot. That's a start, right?"

Spencer sniffled. "I mean… I guess."

"Okay, well just go from there!" Aria reasoned. "Why are you worried? Why are you thinking about it so much?"

"Because…" Spencer began, trying to find a way to word this to Aria. "Because I trusted him, and he took advantage of me. Because I let him in in a way that I rarely have, and he…" Spencer closed her mouth, afraid to continue. Suddenly, Aria began to understand.

"Is that what this is about?" she whispered. "Is this why you're afraid of talking to me? Do you think that I would do something like that to you? Do you think that I would hurt you?"

"No, of course not!" Spencer said quickly. "I know that you would never…"

She ended up just looking back down to the comforter again. She knew that she was far from convincing at this point. "It's just that whatever I see, whatever I _do_, it all leads back to him."

Aria thought about this in genuine concern, and then looked up at Spencer. "Spence," she began, "I know it's only been a week, but… I think you should see someone."

"A _therapist_?" Spencer exclaimed. "Because that worked out _so well_ the first time around?"

"It doesn't have to be Dr. Sullivan," Aria reasoned. "We can find someone more suited for you."

"I…" Spencer began, but couldn't find a way to argue against it. Would it really be so bad to see someone? "I'll think about it."

"Good," Aria nodded her head, but then took it back immediately. "Actually, no. Not good. Spence, there's something else."

"Well, okay…"

Aria looked back up at Spencer again, with a look that was pleading for Spencer to find a way to hear her out on what she was about to say. "I think you need to report Wren."

* * *

Spencer lay awake in her bed, tossing and turning. After much discussion, and a huge fight between her and Aria, she had reluctantly agreed that tomorrow she would report Wren. But was she really ready to do something like that?

_He raped you_, a voice in her head kept saying. _He deserves it_.

But way in the back of her head was another voice that was telling her, _Don't do it. It'll only cause more problems. Don't do it._

Spencer took the pillow out from behind her head and screamed into it. Not loud enough that Aria or her mom could hear, but loud enough to relay her frustration on anything.

When she was little and went to church with her family, she had constantly learned from the Bible that God gave struggles to the people he knew could handle it. But when would God decide that she had had enough? Why couldn't _she_ make that decision?

_I'm done_, she thought to herself. _I've had enough_. But God refused to listen. He just made things worse for her. She just kept going further and further downward, and the further she went, the harder it became for her to return to the old Spencer Hastings. It became harder for her to keep going.

_How do you keep going when the worst thing has happened?_ she thought to herself. _What do you have to change, inside, to survive? Who do you have to become?_

Suddenly, that was it. Spencer had snapped. She shot out of bed and, for the first time all week, unraveled herself from the sheets and got out of it. She was _out of bed_, and she should've felt terrible about it. She should've wanted to collapse back under the warmth of the sheets and return to a deep slumber. She should've wanted to stay in this room forever, to avoid going into the outside world, to never see a boy's or a man's face again.

But she didn't want any of that. She didn't feel terrible.

She felt fucking amazing.

She glanced at the clock. It was 3 in the morning. _Perfect_.

She slowly opened the door to her bedroom, and tiptoed out of it. She hadn't brought a thing with her when Aria brought her to the apartment, and now she didn't have a thing to take away, except for her cell phone. She saw Mrs. Montgomery asleep on the couch with a tattered blanket draped over her, and Aria was cuddled up in a chair next to the couch, asleep as well. Spencer didn't feel good about leaving Aria like this, but she recognized it as something that she needed to do.

"You don't know who I am anymore," she whispered into the darkness, her words leaving her mouth as though a draft had entered the room and breezily carried them away. She then walked over to Aria and looked down at her as she whispered, even more softly this time, "And you can't count on me."

And with that, Spencer was out. She opened the door with ease, feeling sorry that she had to leave the house without so much as a "Goodbye" or a "Thank you" or anything more civil, but that was something the old Spencer would have done.

This new Spencer had to move on from the past somehow. This new Spencer had to learn from her mistakes.

This new Spencer had to promise herself that she wouldn't let anyone in ever again.

"So fill to me the parting glass," she sang softly to herself as she exited the apartment building. Before she could walk further, she stopped in her tracks and pivoted so that she was facing it. So that she was facing the 15-story building, her sight extending upward, as far as it could reach. Then, she said it:

"Goodnight and joy be with you all."


	7. Chapter 7

**Shoutout to ShadowsOnTheMoon for getting the reference! It was to Spencer's monologue in 3x22 when she's in Radley and envisions the other Liars.**

**Here's another chapter, and remember to keep reviewing! The best part of this site is the amazing feedback writers get for their work, and so that's partly why I get so greedy with reviews haha. It's just because you guys say the sweetest things when you review, and they can make you feel really good :)**

**Enough rambling. On with the chapter, which is another one of my favorites! Not many people guessed the reference last chapter (and by that I mean you guys literally did not guess. Only 1 person reviewed with a guess for the reference) but I really REALLY want you guys to guess this one. It's such a great scene in the show, and I was so excited when I figured out how to incorporate it into the story.**

* * *

Aria slowly opened her eyes as she stretched out of her curled up position on the chair. She craned her neck a little to release the tension in it. She was really sore, but she didn't mind. She got up from the chair and drowsily walked over to the kitchen table, where her mom had left an open box of muffins and a note:

_I left these for you two. Had to run off to work early because of a meeting.  
Could not check on Spencer. Be sure to do that.  
__Xo-  
__Mom_

Aria examined the note, and then the box of muffins. She opened the box, picked out a muffin, and sniffed it. Banana nut. Spencer's favorite.

_This should put her in a better mood for when we go to the police today,_ Aria thought to herself as she bit into the muffin, moaning with delight at how delicious it was. Spencer was going to love it! She took out another one and put it on a separate plate for Spencer, and then made he way over to the bedroom door, muffin in hand.

She knocked softly on the door; not loud enough to wake her if she was asleep, but loud enough to get her attention if she was. There was no answer. Confused, Aria knocked again, only a little harder. Still no answer.

_She can't still be asleep, can she?_ Aria though to herself. _It's almost noon!_

But then it occurred to her that maybe Spencer hadn't slept well, or even at all, the night before, because Aria had gotten her worked up about reporting Wren. Aria immediately felt bad, and decided to let Spencer get some sleep.

She had made it all of three steps away from the door before she stopped. _It'd be wrong not to at least check on her_, Aria thought to herself as she walked back over and turned the knob of the door slowly and carefully.

The door crawled open, creaking with each inch forward, until it slowed to a stop, and Aria poked her head in the doorway.

The room was dark, but she was still able to make out the one thing, or the ABSENCE of that one thing, that made her heart stop.

Spencer wasn't in the bed.

Spencer wasn't in the room.

Spencer was gone.

Aria lost all feeling in her hand, and the plate in it slipped from her grip and fell to the floor, shattering to a million pieces as the muffin on it bounced off a few feet away.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed as she lurched forward into the room, searching everywhere; under the covers, under the bed, in the closet, behind the bookshelf, behind the curtains, everywhere.

Spencer was nowhere.

"Spencer?!" Aria called nervously, walking out of the room and back into the sitting room, as though Spencer would answer back. But she knew she wouldn't. It was a small apartment, and there were only so few places that she could be, and she was in none of them.

_Where could she be?!_ Aria thought frantically. _Oh god. Oh GOD._

With shaking fingers, she reached over to her cell phone on the kitchen table and started to scroll through her contacts to her mom's number. Suddenly, however, she changed her mind. Her mom wouldn't be able to handle this situation the way she knew a certain person would.

She scrolled further down to a different contact, and pressed, "call".

The line clicked, and Aria took a deep breath before tearfully whispering, "You have to help me. I… I think I lost Spencer."

* * *

Spencer, in one rigid movement, downed another shot of gin. She had completely lost count by now of how many she had, but she could feel the alcohol seeping through her veins and into her brain, slowly destroying each and every brain cell that she had worked so hard to build up.

_It's not like that matters,_ she thought glumly_. I can't go back to that life now. I'm done._

_Don't you think you're overreacting?_ that voice in the back of her head pried. _It's not like this was a reoccurring theme. It happened one time._

_And that one time will never happen again,_ Spencer fought back internally_. I just need to be more careful._

_Is this really the way to be more careful?_ the voice argued. _By shutting everyone out and downing shots at a lesbian bar?!_

Spencer groaned and ignored the irksome voice as she grabbed the attention of the female bartender, with a short, rocker haircut, behind the counter. "Hit me."

The bartender looked at her suspiciously. "You've already had a lot. Are you sure?"

"Do I look unsure to you?" Spencer snapped drowsily, motioning to her face with her hands; however, her dull eyes and pale complexion that was still littered with bruises, of which she didn't have time to cover up and had turned purplish overtime, were far from convincing.

"Fine," the bartender said in a defeated tone, holding up her hands in surrender. "Don't come crying to me when you start puking."

"I'm a heavyweight," Spencer slurred logically, only to cause the bartender to give Spencer's bony frame, slouched over on a stool, a judging onceover.

"Hah," she scoffed. "_Okay_. How _old_ are you even, sweetheart?"

"Old enough."

"Got any ID?"

"Not with me."

"Maybe you should get it?" the bartender mockingly suggested as she animatedly cocked her head to the side, with wide, beckoning eyes that were effortlessly taunting Spencer.

Spencer sighed, for she knew this part was coming, and reached into her back pocket. She pulled a 20-dollar bill out, and slid it over to the bartender.

"Hopefully this'll help you cooperate a little better," she whispered sexily, figuring if she couldn't get what she wanted, she should at least try to speak this lady's language.

The woman tried, and failed, to suppress a condescending laugh, but nonetheless filled up another tray of shots and put them in front of Spencer.

"There," she sighed, defeated. "Knock yourself out." With that, she walked away, into the back room behind the counter.

"Keep up that attitude and you won't be getting any _sugar _later!" Spencer shouted flirtatiously after her. A bunch of glamorous, dolled-up heads turned, in awe, slowly toward Spencer, who was in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt that she had stolen from a Goodwill crate off the side of the road. It was a completely new feeling for her, having to go to these drastic measures. She was basically _homeless_, and the worst part was that she didn't even need to be.

And yet, she seemed to be pretty good at it. For one, she had the clothes she had stolen, even if they weren't totally appropriate, and she had gotten enough money out of the ATM to purchase booze for the night. And when she ran out, she could just go back. It wasn't like her parents would notice. Their account was too big.

_I could just stay here for the rest of my life_, she thought dreamily. _I don't have to go anywhere. No one can hurt me here. There's not a man in sight! Not a single man to hurt me or abuse me or take advantage of me. I can actually stay safe_.

While Spencer continued to allow herself to believe this, she felt a vibration in her pocket that was strong enough to send a wave of shock up her body. Sighing, she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen. It was Aria.

"Olly olly oxen free," Spencer said emotionlessly to herself as she pressed "ignore" on her phone and then set it on the table. She really shouldn't have brought her phone with her; she should have just left it at the apartment. Spencer knew that Aria, since she was Aria, would be chewing on her own nails by now, trying to figure out where Spencer was, until she finally would come to her senses and call the phone company and have them track down Spencer's phone or something. Spencer had taught her well, after all.

But there was a part of Spencer that was hoping Aria would understand, and maybe leave her be. At least for a little bit. After all, the two of them were very familiar with the concept of running away.

* * *

_"Spence?" Aria whispered into the darkness. "Spence, are you up?"_

_Spencer rolled over onto her side, eyes still closed. "Mmmm," she mumbled, "I am now."_

_She slowly opened her eyes, and found that Aria was hovering over her, her eyes even wider than usual as they prepared to produce a river of tears._

_Spencer immediately sat up. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked tenderly. Aria shook her head vigorously._

_"N-no," she said shakily as a tear managed to escape her right eye. "I… I can't sleep. I'll just have a nightmare. I can't stop thinking about…"_

_Spencer nodded her head in understanding as she wrapped an arm around Aria. It was the night of the incident on the Halloween train, and Spencer knew Aria was still shaken after what had happened, so she offered for Aria to sleep over at her place, if anything just to help her feel safer. She took pride in the fact that Aria only felt truly safe when she was with Spencer; that Spencer provided a special kind of protection for Aria that no one else could provide._

_But right here and now, Aria clearly didn't feel safe. She was shivering in Spencer's embrace, and Spencer tried her hardest to calm her down. But it didn't seem to be working; Aria was a basket case._

_"Here, get under the covers," Spencer offered as she lifted the comforter and ushered for Aria to get in with her. She complied, and scooted in, still shaking tremendously, while Spencer's arm never left its place around Aria's shoulders._

_"Do you wanna talk about it?" Spencer pried gently, but Aria just shook her head again._

_"I want to talk about anything BUT it," she said tearfully. "I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life…"_

_Spencer just held Aria close, trying to think of how she could get Aria's mind off of the past dreadful experience. Finally, she felt like she had landed on something solid. "One of these days, we should just run away."_

_Aria slowly raised her head to look up at Spencer. "Run away?"_

_Feeling confident in the direction the conversation was going, Spencer sat further up and positioned herself so that she was sitting crisscross applesauce and facing Aria. "Yeah!" she said determinedly. "We'll just run away, and we'll keep running until we can't even SEE Rosewood anymore."_

_"What about our families?" Aria asked softly. "Won't they miss us?"_

No one will miss me,_ Spencer thought glumly, but pushed this thought away as she gave Aria the answer she thought she needed right now._

_"They might, but I think they'll be okay knowing that we're safe. Safe and happy."_

_Aria averted her eyes down to the mattress pad underneath her, and then back up to Spencer. "Will we ever come back?"_

_"That depends," Spencer said coyly._

_"On?"_

_"On how we like wherever we are."_

_Aria thought about this for a second, and then looked up at Spencer again. "I've never run away before," she confessed._

_"Never?" Spencer said in surprise._

_"Nope. Although…" she began, and Spencer straightened her back to signal that Aria had her full attention. Aria sighed as she began. "When I found out about my dad and Meredith, I came really close. I couldn't stand having to look my mom in the eye when I was keeping such a huge secret from her, and it was just too much."_

_"What changed your mind?" Spencer asked curiously._

_Aria sniffled loudly as she wiped the tears from her face. When Aria looked at Spencer, Spencer was able to discern a new kind of wisdom in her hazel eyes as she answered, "Because I didn't want to be a coward. I knew that I had to be strong for her, and that running away would be just as horrible of a shock to her as finding out about the affair. I couldn't do that to her, I just had to suck it up."_

_Aria closed her mouth, and even in the darkness Spencer noticed her face draining of color. Spencer wished that the topic of conversation that she had chosen hadn't led to Aria's parents, especially after what they found out about Byron earlier, and how he was somehow in cahoots with Alison. Sadly, though, it did, and Spencer needed to look for another outlet somehow._

_"I ran away once," she blurted out several seconds later. This caught Aria's attention._

_"What did you do?" she asked meekly._

_"I think I was seven," Spencer recalled. "My sister and I had an argument over something, and my parents took Melissa's side. So I… I made a tuna salad sandwich… and I ran away."_

_"Where did you go?" Aria asked inquisitively._

_"The movies," Spencer answered with a smile. "It was something animated. There was a princess, and everybody was singing…" Spencer then lowered her head, feeling tears in her own eyes. "And I got lonely. So I… I ate my tuna salad sandwich, and I came home."_

_Aria gulped back her own tears as she studied Spencer. "Were… were your parents worried?"_

_Spencer looked up at Aria and gave her a simplistic look, yet a look than held all the meaning in the world. "They hadn't even noticed I was gone."_

_Aria fiddled with her shaking fingers for a minute, not sure what exactly to say, until she reached out for Spencer's hands. "Do me a favor," she said, and Spencer nodded her head in response._

_"If you ever get the urge to run away… tell me first?"_

_Spencer blinked back more tears as she surveyed Aria, who was looking at her in the most earnest, loving way possible. Spencer took Aria's hand, being careful of the bandage still on her wrist, and pulled her back onto the pillows with her into a bear hug. Aria had fully calmed down by this point, and felt herself slowly drifting into a less-than-fitful sleep as Spencer pulled the covers on top of them while she whispered, "You'll be the first person I tell."_

* * *

_I lied to her_, Spencer thought guiltily. _She wasn't the first person I told. I didn't even tell her at all! Anyone at all! I'm a coward… just like she said. I ran away, and so I'm a coward._

She couldn't help but keep thinking back to what a _coward_ she was; not just for running away, but for not being able to take care of Aria the way she had on Halloween night, or any night for that matter. She was just too weak and fragile now, but she would never admit to that.

_It shouldn't be a bad thing_, something inside of Spencer kept telling her. _It should be good for you to reach out to someone. Aria could be the perfect person to do that._

_But I don't know how to reach out to someone_, Spencer thought sadly. _I really don't._

_It shouldn't be that hard_.

Spencer sighed. No, it shouldn't. But it was. Someone had raped her, and it didn't feel good. But how did it feel? She had absolutely no idea how to convey that emotion to people. She just felt… exposed. And she was scared that she'd have to endure feeling that way again.

She thought back to Halloween, and being able to hold Aria close and comfort her so that she could sleep peacefully. Would she be welcoming to the idea of Aria doing that for her? Truthfully, she didn't know if she could. Aria had been her best friend for such a long time, but Spencer didn't even think _she_ could get her out of this mess.

But could it hurt to let her at least _try_?

The reality behind it was that Spencer would just feel exposed again. She had shown vulnerability that night in the alley, and she really wasn't ready to show that kind of vulnerability to anyone ever again. Even to Aria.

_Especially_ to Aria. What would she think if she saw how weak Spencer really was?

_She wouldn't feel safe_, Spencer thought glumly. _I'd no longer be her source of protection._

_I'd just be a burden._

Spencer was pulled out of her thoughts as her phone rang again. She stared at it, unsure of what to do. Aria must be worried sick.

_She shouldn't be_, Spencer thought. _I'm perfectly fine. I can take care of myself!_

But the more she thought about it, the more she started to doubt herself. Could she take care of herself?

Judging by where she was now and what had led her here, the answer to that was no. But that didn't mean Spencer was willing to let someone else hold the reins.

_What would people think of me if they saw me like this?_ she thought miserably. _I've spent my entire life trying to protect the people I care about, and now they're going to feel unsafe knowing that I'm unable to do that._

_But is that really such a bad thing?_

There it was. That voice again. It was taunting her. _Mocking_ her. Telling her to give up. To let go.

But hadn't she already given up? Wasn't that what she was doing now?

_There's a difference_, the voice said, _between giving up, and backing out._

Spencer put her head in her hands. She could have had a headache from the massive amount of alcohol in her system, or she could have a headache from all of the thoughts going to war with each other inside of her head. At this point, she was unsure. She peeked through the gaps in her fingers at her cell phone, which was still ringing.

She picked it up, and examined it. If she answered, and let Aria know where she was, Aria would never let her out of her sight. But she'd be safe, and they could work things out. She'd force Spencer to report Wren, but they could work that out, too.

But did she really want to?

The last thing Spencer wanted was to look like a coward. But either way, she was going to. She would look like a coward the minute she let someone else take care of her, and she was looking like a coward right now by running away. She couldn't win!

After several minutes of contemplating, Spencer made her decision.

With shaking hands, she took her phone and dropped it in one of the glasses of gin in front of her, watching it sizzle and spark for a few minutes before resting completely still at the bottom of the glass.


	8. Chapter 8

**Shout out to KooshGID, dnprociuk, Sgdp1261, Guest, and ihavealifeiswear for guessing the reference! It was the when Spencer was talking about how she made a tuna salad sandwich and ran away. That's actually a SPOBY scene from 1x21, and it is all kinds of perfect. And SPEAKING of Spoby, for those of you asking if Toby will appear, I can confirm that yes, Toby is going to enter this story, sooner than you think ;) and for those of you asking if Emily and Hanna will appear, I can confirm that they will enter the story as well! Patience, my dears. You simply have to keep reading!**

**I'm gonna take this time to double shoutout Sgdp1261 because you have to be the most dedicated guest reviewer on this site. You've read, like, all of my stories, and I've seen you on other Sparia stories as well! I'm beginning to think you're an even more hardcore shipper than I am! I want more than ever for you to get an actual account so I can thank you**** personally**** for always reviewing my story, you're the actual best.**

**Enough rambling. On to the chapter. I think you'll like it :) be sure to review to tell me what you think afterwards!**

* * *

"She's not picking up her phone, she won't answer any of my texts..." Aria said frantically into the phone as she drove through Rosewood with eyes peeled for a tall, lanky brunette with caramel brown eyes and a winning smile. She had been searching for hours, and so far had no luck. She couldn't find Spencer anywhere.

"Relax," the voice on the other end said soothingly. "We'll find her."

"How do you know?!" Aria snapped. She let out a shaky breath as she pulled over to the side of the road and pressed her head to the steering wheel, trying to calm herself down.

_I promised I would take care of her_, she kept thinking. _I promised I would PROTECT her. And I let her down!_

Aria mumbled that she was putting the other person on hold as she tried Spencer's cell phone again, but it did something strange.

It went straight to voicemail.

_What?_ she thought strangely. _That's not right_.

She went back to the other call, but didn't say anything.

"Aria? Are you there?"

"Her phone is off," Aria said suspiciously. "She _turned off her phone_. Oh my god, she's _actually_ shutting us out right now. I can't believe her!"

"Have you ever thought that Spencer might now want to be found, Aria?" the person on the other end suggested carefully.

"Multiple times," Aria admitted. "But that's not the point. She could get hurt! She probably did something stupid!"

"She's Spencer. Stupid isn't even in her vocabulary."

"Maybe not, but _impulsive_ and _irrational_ are definitely up there when she's in the mood!" Aria snapped.

There was silence as this comment hung in the air and both parties took a minute to process it. Aria took a few deep breaths. "All that matters right now is finding her," she whispered into the phone. "I don't care where she is, I don't care what she's doing. I just want to find her. I just need to know that she's safe."

"Just think," the person said. "Where would she go?"

"Somewhere to escape from it all?" Aria guessed uncertainly. _Where would Spencer go?_

Somewhere to escape from it all, and somewhere that wouldn't remind her of what happened.

And what reminded her of what happened?

Then, it hit her.

"Boys!" Aria gasped.

"What?"

"I know where Spencer is," she said into the phone.

"You do?" the voice said excitedly into the phone. "Where?!"

"Just... follow me," she said as she pressed on the gas. As she drove down the road, she looked into her rearview mirror and, sure enough, there was the rusty pickup truck that she had requested to follow her. In the mirror, the person nodded their head, an understanding eminent in their crystal blue eyes.

* * *

Spencer lifted her head from the counter and drowsily pushed her hair away from her eyes. While doing so, her hand brushed up along the side of her face, and it felt sticky. When she looked down, she realized that her head had been resting in a puddle of drool that she had produced. Fantastic.

"Hey, look who's up!" a woman in an apron behind the counter exclaimed, and Spencer immediately covered her ears in response. Why was she so _loud_?

Her head was pounding, and her throat was scratchy. She had never felt worse.

Well, she _had_, but this came pretty close.

"What?" Spencer mumbled in confusion. "Where am I?"

"You're at The Rosebud, sweet cheeks," the bartender said manifestly. "You came in here at around 5 am and have been chugging shots ever since."

Spencer remembered now. Clearly. This was bartender from earlier. She looked around, and noticed that the bar was much more packed this time around. Much more like a nightclub. Which was understandable because most people didn't go to a bar at 5 am, or noon, or _any_ early hour, to get down on the dance floor, but by this time of day it would understandably fill up with anxious lesbians ready to do just that.

But what time of day _was_ it exactly?

Spencer turned back to the bartender. "What time is it?"

"6 ish," the woman shrugged. "You passed out at around 3, after sitting your prissy self in that stool right there flirting with just about everyone in sight."

Spencer followed the gaze of the bartender, and noticed that a lot of the women surrounding her were staring at her in awe. She had no doubt that she had "showed her cupcakes" to all of them while under the influence.

"Holy shit," Spencer whispered as the bartender walked away. She was _actually_ going through with this. She had fully run away, had gotten herself wasted and into the mindset of a lesbian, and now she hadn't been in contact with anyone she knew for almost a full day.

"Can I get you anything?" the bartender asked once she had returned. "A glass of water or something?"

"Sure," Spencer said passively as she rubbed her temples. "Thanks."

As the bartender searched for a glass, Spencer became more aware of her surroundings. Bright, luminescent lights were flashing everywhere, constantly blinking in her face, and loud, obnoxious dub step music exploded in her ears. On the dance floor were a couple of girls who were aggressively grinding each other, and Spencer felt like she was going to puke looking at it. It could be the alcohol talking, or it could be that the scene before her brought up the memory of Wren that was incessantly throbbing in her brain, begging to be noticed and remembered.

As if she could ever forget.

"Here," the bartender said, and Spencer gratefully accepted it. "Thanks again."

"How about thanking me in cash?" the bartender said suggestively, rubbing her fingers together in a gesture that said she wanted dough.

Spencer looked at her oddly. "It's a glass of water. It should be free."

"It should be," the lady said with another shrug. "Doesn't mean it is."

"You little…" Spencer began, but then sighed. She had lost the battle before it had even begun. She reached into her pocket, but realized that there was nothing there. She patted down her pockets again, and still nothing. She was fresh out of cash. She had spent it all.

"I'm out," she said, looking back up at the bartender.

"Well, that's what you get for spending all of your bucks on something you couldn't stomach," the bartender said without sympathy.

Spencer glared at the sleazy woman. "I'm kinda dealing with a _lot_ right now."

"I care?" the woman retorted, causing Spencer to scoff. Who did this lady think she was?

"Don't look at me like that," the woman said repugnantly. "I'm a bartender, not a guidance counselor."

"Can't you just give it to me on the house or something?" Spencer asked.

"Nope," the woman said simply. "But I can give you time to get off your ass and get either some cold, hard cash, or a credit card."

Spencer continued to glower at the woman, not understanding why she was going through so much trouble just to get Spencer to pay a dollar for a glass of water for her massive hangover. It did make sense, though, since she probably didn't make that much money as a _bartender_ on the outskirts of a cushy old town like Rosewood, so Spencer complied. "Fine," she said indignantly. "Be right back."

* * *

"Do you see anything?" Aria said anxiously into the phone as she pulled up to Rosewood's one and only lesbian bar, The Rosebud. The only reason she, or any of the girls, knew about it was because Hanna had told them about it after she had followed Paige there one time.

"Nope," the voice said. "She's not outside. Didn't you say she'd be inside?"

"I did," Aria said with a sigh. She was a little scared to go in though. She was afraid of what she'd find. Spencer passed out on the floor from an overdose of alcohol? Or maybe dancing her inhibitions away under a black light?

Suddenly, an elegant figure clad in a ratty sweatshirt and a pair of jeans emerged from the door to the establishment, and Aria took a closer look. The girl was shielding her eyes from the sun, and hobbling forward clumsily and, presumably, drunkenly.

"It's Spencer," Aria declared as she opened her car door. "C'mon, let's go."

* * *

Spencer opened the door to The Rosebud, shielding her eyes from the sun. Her head was still pounding greatly, and she was not accustomed to this much sunlight, especially after being cooped up in the dark for the past 12 hours. She adjusted her eyes a little, and came across a sight she was not expecting.

Across the street was a familiar rusty old pickup truck. One that she had bought herself. But why would it be here, across from a lesbian bar that only a few people knew about?

Unless…

"Spencer!" a small voice screamed, and Spencer looked up to the source. Her vision was blurred, but she could still make out Aria walking briskly toward her, with a taller figure in tow. The taller figure had the bluest eyes she had ever seen.

The bluest eyes that she had known so well from staring into them lovingly for such a long time.

Toby.

* * *

_"Spencer," Aria repeated, "what is it that you want? Just tell me, and I'll get it."_

_A silent tear rolled down Spencer's cheek as she whispered, "Toby. I want Toby."_

* * *

_What are they doing here? _Spencer thought in panic. _How did they FIND me?_

But before she would voice her confusion out loud, something else caught her eye. Coming toward her, from a different direction, was another familiar tall figure. Only his hair was a darker brown, and he had soft brown eyes instead of blue ones. Spencer froze, her limbs turning to jelly on the spot. Her tongue felt heavy, as though it had turned to lead, and she could feel small beads of sweat form on her forehead.

As Aria and Toby started to walk toward her, they noticed her suddenly grow pale, and were confused, but when they turned their heads in the direction that she was looking, the realization hit both of them, as well as the third party, at the same time.

It was Wren. Wren was here, and Wren was in the same proximity as Spencer for the first time since the night of the rape.

Spencer felt her breathing start to quicken, but then it slowed in an instant. Slowed to the point that her blood pressure started to drop. To the point that her eyes drooped.

To the point that she had collapsed to the ground, out cold, while the three people surrounding her stared in shock.


	9. Chapter 9

**I decided to upload this next chapter tonight as well because you guys have been so good with reviewing lately, PLUS this chapter is a little shorter anyway... BUT it's one of my favorites. ShadowsOnTheMoon said earlier in their review that it'd be amusing if Toby and Aria teamed up to kick Wren's ass... you're about to see just that ;)**

**That's two chapters tonight, so you guys better review like CRAZY to let me know how you like it! And I do not say that harshly, I say that with utmost love because you guys are the best :) and Sgdp1261, PM me as soon as you get an account/your email back!**

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"SPENCER!" Aria screamed as she ran over to an unconscious Spencer, trying to revive her the best that she could as she shook her gently. But Toby did not follow. He remained firmly in place, glaring at Wren.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" he growled.

"Toby…" Aria whispered pleadingly as she looked up at him, "I don't think-"

"No, it's okay," Wren said, holding up his hand toward Aria as he walked toward the Toby. "I wanna hear what the carpenter has to say."

"The carpenter has a name," Toby spat angrily. "_And_ he's been a hell of a lot better toward Spencer than your British ass has ever been."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Wren said cooly. "I've shown nothing but affection toward Spencer."

At this, Aria scoffed. Was he _seriously_ denying this right now? Wren caught on to the scoff, and turned toward Aria. "Is there a problem here?"

"Actually, yes. There is," she said as she stood up from the ground. She took note of how much Wren towered over her, but still stood her ground firmly. "You need to leave."

"Or what?" Wren challenged.

"You don't wanna _know_ what!" Toby said threateningly as he took an intimidating step toward Wren. Wren did the same. The two of them continued to walk toward each other until they were directly in each other's faces.

"Guys," Aria intervened as she took her hands and slowly pushed them apart. They staggered backward, and then stared at her in confusion and, on Toby's behalf, impatience, since he wanted nothing more than to beat Wren to death.

Aria narrowed her eyes at them. "I _really_ don't think this is the best place for this," she said uneasily.

"Why the hell not?" Toby shrieked. "Don't you wanna see this asshole get pummeled for what he did to Spencer?"

"Hey now," Wren warned.

"Oh I would _love_ that, believe me!" Aria stated blatantly, ignoring Wren's comment. "But do you really wanna be giving each other a bloody nose in front of God and country while Spencer is lying on the ground and could wake up any minute?"

"I don't care!" Toby stated as he looked back up at Wren, his blue eyes swirling with hatred.

"I'd be careful if I were you," Wren barked. "I could clock you into the next century."

"Is that a threat?"

"Guys…" Aria started nervously.

"You should listen to the little one," Wren said knowingly.

"Hey, you shut the fuck up!" Aria snapped. She _hated_ when people made fun of her height, especially someone like Wren, who was standing there smugly, staring at Toby and Aria, as if the whole thing was a joke. "Who the hell do you think you are? Why are you even _here_?"

"Can't a lad walk down the street at his leisure?" Wren said innocently.

"Not if that 'lad' belongs in jail," Toby said menacingly.

"I _don't_ belong in jail, because I didn't do anything wrong," Wren said finally.

"Yes you did!" Aria said exasperatedly. "You _raped_ her!"

Wren's eyes widened, and he aggressively took Aria's arm and pulled her into the nearest alley, while Toby followed protectively.

_God damn, this town has a lot of alleyways, _Aria thought as she surveyed the scene around her, rubbing her arm that was throbbing slightly by the way Wren had gripped it.

"You can't go around saying things like that," Wren said in panic. "I'm a doctor! People around here know me; I could lose my job!"

"And I should care because…" Aria began.

"I don't know what Spencer told you," Wren began, "but I didn't do anything to her. I simply asked her out cordially, and she had the audacity to decline, so I tried to show my affection toward her."

"Yeah, by _raping_ her!" Toby spat as he came around the corner.

"Would you keep your voice down, boy?!" Wren croaked.

"I'm not your _boy_," Toby said pointedly, "and I'm not doing anything you say."

"Look, anything I did to Spencer was not to harm her in any way," Wren said with a shrug.

"Right," Aria said sarcastically. "So when I found her in that alley way covered in bruises and bleeding to death, I had just _imagined_ the whole thing. Good to fucking know."

"I'd watch my tone if I were you," Wren sneered.

"I'm not watching _anything_ if you're telling me to!_"_ Aria shouted.

"Listen," Wren said loathingly as the malevolent glint in his eyes became more prominent. "Not a _word_ of this to _anyone._ Are we clear?"

"_Far_ from clear!" Toby shouted. "You're going to stay away from Spencer."

"That's not the way things work," Wren said slimily. "I'll see Spencer however much I feel like."

"That's not happening," Aria said hostilely.

"Right, I'm going to listen to a group of teenagers on whom I interact with," Wren said sarcastically as he started to walk away, but Toby pushed him backward before he could make his exit.

"You're not going near her, do you understand me?!" he shouted in Wren's face. "You're _not!_"

Wren darted his eyes between the street outside of the alley and Toby's menacing blue eyes directly in front of him. With a final deep breath, he pulled his arm back and punched Toby in the nose.

"OW!" Toby howled as he reflexively brought his hand up to his nose, and with that Wren made his great escape.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" Aria yelled as she started to chase after Wren, but Wren was too fast for her. He dashed down the sidewalk, across the street, and out of sight before she could get even close to catching up with him.

Toby caught up with Aria, but then winced in pain as soon as he had stopped. Blood seeped out of his nose, and was dripping down his face and onto his blue v-neck sweater.

"Oh my god," Aria gasped as she hesitantly touched Toby's nose, and he winced again. "Well he wasn't kidding about clocking you into the next century. He kinda got you good."

"What a dick," Toby muttered as he turned around, and Aria followed him as they walked back toward Spencer, who was still out cold on the ground.

"I can't believe this all had to happen to her," Toby whispered sadly as he pinched his nose to stop the flow of blood.

"I _still_ can't believe it," Aria said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a few tissues to hand to Toby. " And I've known about it for a while now. Wren needs to be punished."

"We'll deal with him later," Toby suggested as he gratefully took the tissues and held them to his nose. "For now, we need to figure out what to do with her."

"I'll take her back to my mom's place," Aria reassured as she started to walk toward Spencer, but Toby held her back.

"Could we take her to my place, actually?" he asked hopefully. "I… I haven't seen her in a couple weeks. I wanna be able to talk to her, and sort this out with her."

Aria bit her lip, pondering this. Would Spencer open up to Toby? She didn't want to see him get hurt if she lashed out at him, which was quite likely. But maybe she would open up, and maybe he could help her get better.

It was worth a shot.

"Okay," Aria said finally. "She's all yours."

Toby nodded his head, conveying a "thank you" with the twinkle in his sparkling blue eyes. He then walked over to Spencer, leaned down, and swiftly picked her up wedding-style in his arms. As he walked toward his car, he looked back at Aria, and jerked his head in the direction of his car to signal that Aria follow. Toby put Spencer in the back seat, and Aria got in with her, holding Spencer's head protectively in her lap. With one final look behind him at Aria and his wounded ex-girlfriend, Toby drove off.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, so I know I say this, like, all the time, but this chapter is BY FAR my favorite. Most definitely. I worked super hard on it, so I really hope you guys like it, and be sure to review after reading it to tell me what you think!**

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Emily sat at her desk in English class, nervously fidgeting and tapping her pencil repetitively against her desk in no particular rhythm. She tried constantly to get herself to focus, but every time she stared down at the page in front of her, every _b_ turned into a _d_ and every _m_ turned into a _w_. Her attention span, for whatever reason, was very low today.

She averted her eyes toward Hanna, who was sitting two seats down from her, and it looked like she wasn't paying attention either, although this was protocol for Hanna. She was chewing on her pen and she had a distant look in her eyes, as though she was looking right through the chalkboard all the way into the next room.

Almost as though she could _feel_ Emily staring at her, Hanna looked over. But Emily quickly glanced back down toward her paper. She didn't want to worry Hanna.

_I just need to get through the school day_, Emily thought. _If I can just do that, I'll be fine_.

"So what makes Desdemona's death so tragic," Emily heard Mrs. Montgomery explain at the front of the classroom, "is that she lied to try to protect her husband. But Othello failed to recognize this, and that really emphasizes how little they knew each other. Since they were so hasty to get married, there is an absence of trust."

_Yeah, well I don't need an impulsive marriage to tell me about how little I trust A_, Emily thought moodily. Suddenly, the bell rang. As Mrs. Montgomery went on to remind the class of the latest homework assignment, Emily stood up from her chair and briskly walked over to Hanna, as Hanna did the same. They met somewhere in between the two desks, a panicked look on both of their faces.

"This really shouldn't be that big of a deal, but…" Emily began.

"It's been a week," Hanna finished nervously.

"Shouldn't one of them have called us by now?" Emily asked, looking up at Hanna in fear.

Hanna looked over to Mrs. Montgomery, who was answering a student's question. She then turned back to Emily. "Mrs. Montgomery already told us earlier this week that they both had the flu. That's probably why they haven't called! They're just sleeping or something."

"I doubt they've been asleep for the entire week, Hanna," Emily snapped.

"They're fine," Hanna said reassuringly, although she herself still wasn't entirely convinced.

A week ago, Ella had pulled both Emily and Hanna aside and told her that Aria had the flu, and that Spencer managed to catch it as well. She said that Spencer's parents were out of town, so Ella offered to take care of her, along with Aria. She had told Emily and Hanna that she didn't want the two of them near Aria and Spencer because she didn't want them getting sick, too, and that if they needed or wanted anything Aria and Spencer would call _them_, instead of Emily or Hanna calling. They both hadn't given it a second thought of the time; in fact, they were kind of jealous of the other two since they got to sit at home and avoid all of this A drama piling around. But it had been a week, and neither girl had heard from the others, and they felt like something was definitely up.

Before either could utter another word, Hanna's phone chimed. She was about to reach into her pocket to get it, but then froze in place when a _ping_ escaped Emily's phone about a millisecond later. That could only mean one thing.

Slowly, and carefully, Hanna reached into her pocket, and Emily did the same. Hanna was about to turn it over to look at the text, but chickened out at the last second. "You look!" she said quickly.

With one meaningful glare at Hanna, Emily turned over her phone and pressed the "home" key. Her eyes danced back and forth as she read the message, and then stopped mid dance as they widened to their full extent.

"What's wrong?" Hanna whispered harshly, yet nervously. "What did they say?"

Emily gulped loudly as she tremblingly turned the phone so that Hanna could see the screen.

_Wondering where the other 2 musketeers are, ladies? You really aught to keep track of where the members of the wolf pack wander to. Who knows what kind of hungry animals could be craving fresh meat?_

_Although, I know one of them might start with an –A_

"Oh my god…" Hanna whispered.

Emily pulled her phone down and nervously started playing with the ends of her hair, a bad habit that she always got into when she was scared. "Does this mean A has Aria and Spencer? Or has done something to them?"

"Well A definitely doesn't stand for 'anteater'," Hanna whispered harshly.

"Oh god," Emily said softly as she sat down on the edge of a desk with her arms on her knees and her head in her hands. "I feel sick."

"Okay, let's calm down for a minute," Hanna said reasonably as she gently removed Emily's hands from her face. "If something had happened to them, wouldn't Mrs. Montgomery know about it? Or tell us?"

"Mrs. Montgomery was here the entire day," Emily pointed out. "A could've easily done something to them while she was away."

"Is something wrong, ladies?" Mrs. Montgomery piped in, and both Emily and Hanna jumped two feet in the air in surprise. Ella cocked her eyebrow in confusion, so Emily piped in. "We wanna see Aria and Spencer."

"Emily…" Hanna warned, afraid that she was jumping the gun slightly.

"I'm sorry girls, but you can't," Ella said calmly. "They're still recovering."

"Mrs. Montgomery, you don't understand," Emily said desperately. "Something could be wrong with them. They could be in danger."

"EMILY," Hanna said more sternly, but Emily was immune to it. She was staring intently at Mrs. Montgomery, begging her to understand how much she needed to see her friends and know that they were okay.

Ella was caught of guard. "Danger? No, they're at home. They're perfectly fine."

Emily just shook her head. "I'll only believe it when I see it," she said. "I need to see them."

Emily looked like she was going to throw up, and Hanna just calmly stroked her arm, trying to calm her down. Ella looked at the two girls suspiciously, wondering what was going on.

"Are you okay, sweetie? Is…" She took a breath for a second. "Is this about something else?"

"I…" Emily started, but in her peripheral vision she could see Hanna giving her a worried look; one that said _Don't tell her. Please don't tell her_._ She can't know about A._

"I just miss them," Emily half-lied; she did miss them, but there was still more. After Maya was taken away from her, she promised that no one she cared about would get hurt ever again. She would make sure of that. And with Aria and Spencer missing, or at least out of her sight, and with A on the loose, it was incredibly hard to keep track of that.

Ella looked conflicted. She glanced between Hanna and Emily, two of her daughter's best friends. _I can't believe the girls left them in the dark for this long_, she thought. _It doesn't really seem fair_.

With one more look at the worry in Emily's eyes, Ella folded. "Alright. If it'll help you feel better, I'll take you to them now."

* * *

Spencer's eyes fluttered open. Her head was about to split open, and everything around her was a haze; the wooden ceiling fan above her, the light coming in through the blinds on the window, the pair of clear blue eyes in front of her.

_Wait_.

Spencer shot up, and Toby immediately caught her before she could lurch forward any further. "Whoa there," he said calmly. "You're okay."

Spencer started breathing faster and faster, and Toby tried rubbing her knee to calm her down. As his soft hand made contact with her skin, she felt herself start to return to normal.

"What… are… you doing here?" she asked between wheezes.

Toby looked deeply at her with his calm, caring eyes. "Well, it is my apartment," he said with a soft chuckle.

_What?!_

Spencer looked around quickly. "Where… where's Aria?!" she asked nervously, feeling her breathing start to quicken again.

"Spence, relax," Toby said, his voice cracking slightly with worry. "She's in the other room, okay? She wanted to give us some privacy."

Spencer could understand this, but her breathing remained at its quickened pace, and she could feel her entire body shake with fear. Toby held onto her quaking arms to try to hold her still. "Spencer. Relax."

But Spencer wouldn't relax. This was her first time being in such close contact with another boy in a week, and even if it was Toby, and even if this is what she had _wanted_ not too long ago, she wasn't ready. She felt sick.

In fact, she could feel the alcohol swirling aggressively in her stomach, begging to let out.

Instinctively, Spencer put her hand to her mouth, and Toby's eyes widened with worry. He hastily took the wastebasket sitting next to the couch and brought it up to Spencer's mouth, and she immediately threw up into it.

Toby reached over and rubbed Spencer's back soothingly as she emptied everything she had been drinking today into the trashcan. He winced as her back muscles contracted as she continued to throw up, but continued to rub her back, trying to comfort her in whatever way he could. Once she was done, she sat up, breathing heavily as tears prickled at the front of her eyes.

"You're okay," Toby said soothingly, and Spencer let herself calm down, if only for a moment, before collapsing back onto the couch. Toby tried to put his arm around her to hug her, but she instinctively pushed him away. Toby drew back, shocked, but took this time to take a good look at Spencer.

Her light brown hair was long and knotted from not paying attention to it in days. Her warm chocolate eyes, which used to hold so much eager wisdom, now seemed to hold so many burdens. Too many burdens. And her skin was sallow and pale, her face sunken, and covered in yellowish bruises.

And yet somehow, he had still never seen anything so beautiful.

He reached up to gently caress her bruised face, but she winced at the contact. Hurt, he pulled back again.

"I'm going to kill Wren for doing this to you," he said angrily.

Spencer stiffened. "Wren?" she whispered. "How did… how did you kno-"

"Aria told me."

"WHAT?!" Spencer bellowed. "Why would she do that?!"

"Spence-"

"I'm going to KILL her!"

"Spencer, don't say that!" Toby said firmly. "I made her tell me, okay? I told her I wouldn't go anywhere with her until she told me what happened to you and why she was so upset."

Spencer paused as his words sunk into her brain. The logical part of her knew that this made sense and that she shouldn't be mad at Aria, but the emotional part of her couldn't _help_ but feel like Aria had betrayed her.

Suddenly, a door was heard flying open, and Spencer looked up to see Aria rush in in a panicked state.

"What happened?" she shrieked. "What's wrong?"

"I told you to stay in the other room," Toby said sternly.

"I heard her screaming, so I got worried."

"Guys, I'm RIGHT HERE," Spencer snapped. _God, people talking about you like you're not even in the room is the WORST,_ Spencer thought grumpily.

Aria pivoted toward Spencer and stared at her fiercely. "You're right, you are here, and thank god for that!" she scolded. "What were you thinking?"

"Aria-"

But Aria wasn't finished. She was completely coiled up like a windup toy, ready to go on a complete tangent, and nothing could stop her now. "Do you realize how worried I was? We've been searching for _hours._ I didn't know what to think! At one point I thought you had been _kidnapped!_ Do you realize what could've _happened_? You could've gotten hurt. _Again_. How could you be so stupid?!"

"Oh, _I'm_ the stupid one?" Spencer fought back. "How about you?"

"ME? I'm not the one who ran off in the middle of the night with absolutely nothing on my back to a _lesbian bar_ and got myself _wasted_ while _underage_ and still _injured_!"

"No, but you _are_ the one who told my ex-_boyfriend_ about how my _other_ ex-boyfriend raped me!"

Toby's eyes widened in shock, but both Spencer and Aria ignored him. Aria narrowed her eyes at Spencer. "You can't seriously be _mad_ at me for that. I had to tell him! If I didn't, you might not _be_ here!"

"Well maybe I wanted to tell him myself! You can't just make all of my decisions for me, Aria. Just because I got _raped_ doesn't mean I'm no longer allowed to do what I want."

"YES IT DOES!" Aria cried, trying to keep her tone steady, which was hard when hearing Spencer say the word _rape_ with such ease. "It wouldn't if you could think straight, but clearly you can't!"

"You're not my _mother_, Aria."

Aria bristled at this, but kept going after a moment. "I never said I was! But I am a friend, and I am trying to _protect_ you."

"Well I don't need to be protected!"

"Yes you_ do!"_ Aria screamed, nearly bursting into tears in frustration. "Why can't you see it? You're really fragile right now, but you have two people right here who want to help you and care for you. Why can't you just let us do that?"

Spencer just glared at Aria before lowering her head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me!" Aria spat.

"No, I am not going to try you," Spencer spat back, looking up at Aria in exasperation. "Can't you just leave me alone?"

Aria sighed. "Spencer, you're just... not thinking straight."

"Aria, I can think just fine."

"Stop _denying_ it!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Toby shouted finally, and Aria and Spencer froze and turned to him. His eyes were widened in rage and confusion and, most importantly, hurt. Spencer and Aria had never seen Toby so worked up.

He turned to Aria and, with one jerk of his head, gestured toward the bedroom door. "Go. Now."

"But I was just-"

"_Now_," he said more firmly this time, feeling like an anxious mother who was dealing with her two bickering children.

Aria huffed as she stomped off, slamming the door behind her.

Spencer huffed, too. "Bitch."

Toby turned to Spencer in astonishment. "What happened to you two? You guys are supposed to be best friends!"

"Yeah, well, we were," Spencer said with a shrug. "Then she decided she wanted to do a total 180 and turn into an overprotective dictator who watches my every move."

At this, Toby stifled a laugh, but Spencer caught on to it. She glared at him. "What's so funny?"

"You," he admitted, turning away from her to stare at the wall. "It's like you two have switched places."

Spencer's eyes widened. "What are you talking about? I'm not like this! Not to this extent at least."

Toby turned back to Spencer with a sigh. "She's just concerned."

"Yeah, well, she has a funny way of showing it," Spencer muttered bitterly.

"Hey." He caringly took a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. "You know she's trying to take care of you. When you ran off, I honestly thought she was going to pass out, she was so worried." He then cast his eyes downward. "And I was, too."

Spencer looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," he said compassionately. "Just… don't be mad. At either of us. We were just trying to help."

"I know," Spencer said helplessly. "I'm not mad."

"Then what are you?"

"Frustrated," she admitted. "I just feel like… no one _can _help."

He cocked his head to the side in confusion. "I thought you said before that you didn't want help. Are you admitting that this might not be the case?"

"I…" she began, but couldn't finish. She didn't know how to.

"Spencer, do you need someone to protect you." He didn't say it like a question; he said it like a statement. As if he didn't need to ask it because he knew the answer.

"Yes… no… I don't know!" she said finally as she turned away from him stubbornly. Toby gently touched her shoulder, coercing her back to where she was facing him. She whimpered slightly at his touch, still not used to the contact, so he pulled back. He looked her in the eyes. "Well I do know," he said finally. "I know what you need, but you yourself need to be willing to admit to it."

"What if I don't want to?" she asked in a quaking voice.

"Well, then, I'll just try to help you anyway," he said with a shrug.

"Toby, I told you, I don't think anyone can help."

"I can give it a shot," Toby suggested as he scooted closer to Spencer on the couch. He took her hands in his, and his silk-smooth hands immediately soothed her as they encompassed her dry, rough ones.

"Spencer," he said tenderly, in that very way that gave Spencer goose bumps every time. "Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."

"You can't," she whispered as a tear spilled out of her eye.

The hurt in Toby's eyes came back, and he lowered his head. "I thought I was always your safe place to land."

"You were," Spencer reassured. "You are! I'm just… a little mixed up on the definition of 'safe'."

Toby placed a hand on her shoulder, and at first she flinched at the contact again, but then relaxed. It was just Toby. Toby wouldn't hurt her.

"I can remind you," he said genuinely. "I'll keep you safe. I'll always be here to protect you, Spencer."

Spencer gazed into his crystal blue orbs, wanting so much to be able to tell him everything, but she couldn't. She never could.

Suddenly, something changed in Spencer. She no longer felt sorrowful, she felt something else.

Anger. Hate.

She _hated_ not being able to tell Aria and Toby about what happened. She _hated_ that she was unable to word everything that was going through her head out loud. She _hated_ that she was so alone.

She hated that she had to be so alone ever since the night that it happened.

"You weren't there to protect me when Wren attacked me that night," she growled. Toby inched backward, surprised at Spencer's sudden assertiveness.

Spencer wasn't sure where this was coming from, but she kept going. "You weren't there to save me when he first shoved me against the wall. You weren't there when I was screaming for someone, _anyone_, to help. _No one was there!_ Why weren't you there, Toby? You said you'd always protect me, but you weren't there when I needed you most!"

Spencer's voice rose to the point that she was now screaming, and Toby sat still, staring at her. He wanted to say something, to _move_, but his mouth felt like sandpaper and his limbs felt like stone. He was paralyzed.

Spencer took his idleness as answer enough as she stood up. She took the pillow from behind her and threw it aggressively at him. "Just because we're broken up doesn't mean I don't _need_ you, Toby!" she screamed as he dodged the pillow and stood up from the couch as well. "It doesn't mean you can just sit on your _ass_ while I experienced what could've possibly been the worst night of my life! Where were you? Why weren't you there to h-h-help me?!" she stuttered on the last words as the back of her throat filled with tears that were begging to be set free.

"I'm sorry," he whispered inaudibly as he stared at her, her body shaking with anger and sobs. He was looking at her with as much sorrow and grief as he could muster. "I didn't know. I… I _wish_ I had been there to help you, but I just… wasn't."

Something in Spencer broke at seeing his face like this. All of her anger suddenly vanished. "I'm… I'm sorry," she whispered. "I… I don't know what's gotten into me."

"I do," he said calmly as he walked toward her. "I can't even imagine what you're going through."

"You're right," she whispered, realizing the weight of his words. "You can't. N-no one can."

No one could. Once again, she was alone.

Spencer felt her breathing quicken again, and Toby immediately pulled her down to the couch with him and engulfed her in a hug. Once his arms wrapped around her, she broke down into tears. She cried and cried as he continued to hold her. Spencer heard the door to the other room open, and she could feel another set of arms wrap themselves around her as Aria joined Toby in trying to comfort Spencer.

Toby didn't shoo Aria away this time. Instead, he looked up at her like a lost puppy, truly scared and unsure of what to do.

Together the two of them held onto Spencer as she continued to cry into their arms. They made an odd pair; a tall, muscular, sandy-haired boy, and a short, fragile, dark-haired girl; but they both had one thing in common: they both loved Spencer with all their hearts, and they would do whatever it took to help her get better.

As Spencer went limp in the embrace of her best friend and her ex-boyfriend, she realized how nice it felt. She hadn't opened up to them fully yet, but she had gotten pretty close.

And a part of her was ready to let them help her. She might finally be ready to step back. Let someone _else_ protect her.

Aria was right. She needed to stop denying that she needed help. She did need it. Desperately.

Spencer's breath caught in her throat, and she stopped shaking. Aria and Toby froze, and then pulled back to examine her.

She looked up at them with complete fear in her eyes, in her entire face. "I need help. Please, will you h-help me?" she said quietly as her bottom lip quivered.

Aria's face softened; all of her anger from earlier at Spencer's rash actions and all of her panic of losing Spencer had vanished. They were replaced with complete sadness; sadness, and shock that Spencer was finally ready. She wrapped her arms back around Spencer as she held her tight. "Of course we will."

Toby joined in on the hug. "You know we'd do anything for you," he said.

Spencer closed her eyes as a few tears escaped them. She was feeling a lot of things right now. Terrified, scarred, angry, and sad were just a few examples. But there was one thing that she definitely was not feeling. At least not right now, and hopefully not for a long, long time.

And that was alone. She was no longer alone.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to update, but I've had some serious writers block with this story. But anyway, here's another chapter, and let me know what you think! As for where this story is going, it might be nearing its end. I'd say we have about 5-10 chapters left. But keep reviewing, and let me know how you like it! Your reviews seriously mean the world to me, I hope you all know that forever and always. I was smiling for so long at your responses to the last chapter, and hopefully this chapter will get similar responses!**

* * *

Ella walked up to the door to her apartment with Emily and Hanna close behind, fidgeting nervously. Hanna was twiddling her thumbs, trying to calm herself down, mainly just so that Emily wouldn't see that she was scared of what they'd find behind that door… or what they didn't find. And Emily was practically pulling all of her hair out, tugging at her once silky tresses until she had a huge wad of dark brown hair in the palm of her clammy hand.

Ella walked up to the door, and then pivoted her feet so that she was facing the girls. "Relax, alright?" she reassured. "They're in there, and they're safe. But I want to make sure that you're prepared for what you're about to see-"

Emily couldn't take it. She marched forward, snatched the key out of Mrs. Montgomery's hand, unlocked the door, and then threw herself into the apartment, on a frantic search for her two best friends.

Ella stared after her, her mouth agape, and Hanna followed close behind, sneaking Ella an apologetic glance as she entered the room.

Emily walked circles around the room, looking around feverishly for any sign of Aria or Spencer. She looked like a riled up terrier who had picked up on the scent of a nice, juicy steak, only she had picked up on the scent of her two best friends.

Or at least she thought she did.

"I don't see them," she said worriedly. "Where are they?"

Ella, who was still confused, and a little disoriented by Emily's outburst, calmly led the girls to the bedroom where she figured Aria and Spencer would be.

But when she walked up to the bedroom door, her heart stopped.

All she saw before her was a dark room with an unmade bed and an uneaten muffin on the floor, along with a porcelain plate that was promptly shattered.

Emily and Hanna walked up so that they were directly behind Ella, and the sight before them evoked the same reaction out of them that it did out of Ella.

Emily's complexion went from olive tan to sheet white in an instant. "Mrs. Montgomery," she said softly, "where are Aria and Spencer?"

Ella kneeled to the ground and examined the shattered china before her. She held up a shard to the light. Someone had definitely dropped the plate in shock.

She looked up to the girls, expressing the same worry that they had been for the first time that day. "I have no idea."

* * *

"God, my head is killing me," Spencer muttered, putting her warm hand up to her throbbing forehead, which was resting in Aria's lap on Toby's couch.

Aria glared down at her. "Yeah, no shit," she muttered. "This is what you get for downing, like, 20 shots in one day!"

"You know what..." Spencer started, sitting up now to face Aria.

"Both of you, cut it out," Toby said sternly as he walked into the room with a bottle of Gatorade in his hand. Spencer and Aria both grumbled halfhearted apologizes as Spencer collapsed back into Aria's lap and Aria went back to stroking Spencer's hair with care.

Toby did his best to suppress a laugh. _They're just like an old married couple, those two_, he thought to himself. They toggled between bickering like bratty little kids and caring for each other so easily. But it made Toby feel a lot better knowing that their constant fighting was merely out of love.

He walked over to the couch and kneeled next to where Spencer's head was. He held the bottle up to her. "Drink."

Spencer sat up slightly as she looked at him in confusion. "What?"

He giggled slightly. "Drink the Gatorade, Spencer."

Spencer continued to stare at him, truly disoriented by his request. "Umm..." she began. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to drink coffee when you're hungover."

"And I'm pretty sure that's bullshit," Toby said with a laugh. "Trust me. The electrolytes in Gatorade work loads better than coffee. Just drink it."

When Spencer didn't move, Toby just sighed as he unscrewed the cap and brought the blue liquid up to Spencer's lips. Spencer eventually complied, and let him give it to her in slow, subtle sips.

As she swallowed the cool liquid, it traveled from her throat up to her brain, calming her nerves and causing her headache to subside greatly. It wasn't gone completely, but she did feel better.

Aria watched as Spencer's face contorted from one of pain to one of relief. She looked up at Toby, impressed. "How did you..."

Toby just gave her a warm grin. "I picked the trick up somewhere along the way," he said cheekily as he stood up, bottle in hand, and placed the bottle on the table on the other side of the couch.

"What way?" Spencer asked curiously.

Toby, to Spencer's surprise, placed his hands on the table that he had set the Gatorade bottle on, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He then turned back to the girls, and something in his face changed. The cheeky grin he had worn earlier was replaced with a look of pain, of sorrow.

"Ever since we broke up a couple weeks ago," he began morosely, "I haven't taken it well. I've been drinking a lot." He hung his head in shame. "I had a wicked hangover one night, and one of the guys at the bar gave me suggestions to cure it."

Spencer's face softened, and Aria grabbed onto Spencer's arm in shock.

"Toby," Spencer whispered, "that's the sweetest thing any guy has ever said to me."

Toby's face lit up. "It is?"

"Yeah," Spencer nodded her head, trying to shake off the tears that were forming in her eyes.

Toby hung his head again as he walked back over to the couch. Only this time he actually sat down, across from Spencer and Aria, taking Spencer's hands in his. "I can't help but feel like this whole thing is my fault."

"What thing?" Aria asked, although both she and Spencer knew the answer.

"What Wren did," Toby said, not bothering to hide the contempt in his voice. He turned back to Spencer. "If I had just... not allowed you to slip away, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"That's ridiculous," Spencer claimed, shocked that Toby could possibly even consider putting the blame on himself. "I'm the one that broke up with you, remember?"

"But I just sat back and let you break up with me!" Toby exclaimed in rage.

But it wasn't at Spencer. It was rage at himself.

He raised his eyes so that they met Spencer's, the sadness in his a perfect match for the devastation in hers. "Maybe I could've protected you."

Spencer just sighed and shook her head. "Toby, I didn't mean what I said earlier-"

"Yes you did," Toby said simply. "But that's okay. You were right."

"But I wasn't," Spencer said confidently. "Something tells me that Wren had wanted to do this for a l-long time..."

She faltered at the end of her sentence, finding it hard to keep going. Aria rubbed her arm comfortingly. "It's ok. Just try not to think about it."

But Spencer couldn't stop thinking about it. In fact, since she made the decision to open up to Aria and Toby, it was all she could think about.

"I just wanna know what I did to make him hate me so much," she whispered brokenly.

Aria wrapped her arms around Spencer, and Spencer leaned into her embrace. Toby took Spencer's hands that were interlocked with his and gave them a loving kiss. Spencer was happy to have them here with her, but something still felt incomplete.

"I should have never broken up with you," she said softly. Toby's ears perked up, and he leaned forward, trying to listen to what she had to say.

Spencer sat back up, looking him in the eyes. "I've missed you," she whispered.

Toby felt himself crumble under her broken, lost gaze. "I've missed you, too."

Spencer lowered her head, breaking the eye contact. "But I'm not sure I'm ready to be in a relationship right now," she said, regret dripping from her voice. This was killing her, but she couldn't be with him. Not until she was ready. "That being said... I still love you."

Toby wilted slightly at first, but then pulled himself together after a second. He tilted her chin up with the fleshiest part of his finger so that she was looking up at him. "That's good enough for me," he said compassionately. She gave him a watery smile in response and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek.

One day they'd be back together, but for now they'd have to let their love for each other make up for it.

Their moment was interrupted by intense knocking on the door. The noise sent Spencer's head back into its intense pounding pattern, and she groaned loudly. Aria looked up at Toby, confused. "Expecting company?"

"No..." he said warily as he got up to answer the door. As he did, Aria turned to Spencer and gave her shoulder a tight squeeze.

"I am so proud of you," she whispered with satisfaction. "That was really brave of you."

"Thank you," Spencer whispered as she leaned back into Aria's arms. She couldn't stay there too long, however, based on who was at the front door.

Toby opened the door, and gasped in surprise as the last person he expected to see entered his apartment.

* * *

**Cliffhanger! I can confidently say that none of you will guess who's at the door, but give it a shot anyway!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Alright, you all have been very patient, so I'm here to deliver! So no one guessed who the mystery person at the door is (YES!) haha, but one person did get close! I will congratulate them at the bottom of this chapter :) Thank you so much for your reviews last chapter you guys, keep it up! I'm LOVING it! :D**

* * *

"Spencer!"

Spencer unraveled herself from Aria's arms, and Aria watched as Spencer's profile turned pale. "Mom?"

Veronica Hastings marched into the apartment, eyes widened like a wild animal. She walked up to Spencer, and stopped short at the sight of her bruised face. She stood in place, eyes grazing Spencer up and down, completely caught off guard, and a little frightened, by the sight of her daughter so hurt.

"Sweetie, what happened?" she whispered, devastated. Spencer opened her mouth, but couldn't find a way to answer. She felt tears reach the front of her eyes all over again, and felt herself instinctively shrinking back into Aria's embrace, which she needed more than ever right now. Aria was completely still, a wave of shock rolling over her and paralyzing her at the sight of Mrs. Hastings entering the apartment so suddenly, but she held onto Spencer in such a calm, yet firm, way, that Spencer felt better knowing she was there. Aria was not a large person, but she somehow managed to give the best hugs.

She was little, but she was big.

With Aria's arms wrapped around her, Spencer finally managed to swallow her tears and ask, "How did you find me here?"

Veronica looked behind her at Toby, who was standing at the doorway looking completely bewildered, and then back to Spencer. "I figured this would be where you'd run off to."

"But how'd you know I'd run off in the first place?" Spencer asked, truly confused, not to mention a little angry. Her mother had put her on the back burner for practically all of her life, and right when she was coming to terms with that, her mom decided to pop in out of nowhere and show concern for her.

Veronica stood still, staring at Spencer, and as Aria continued to hold Spencer, she felt the muscles in her back tense up. Spencer sat up slightly. "I'm waiting," she said sharply, glaring at Veronica.

Veronica was caught off guard by Spencer's sudden change in mood, but found her voice after a moment. "I got a call."

"From who?!" Spencer asked, getting more and more frustrated the longer her mother held off on information.

A knock on the door broke the icy tension in the room, even if only for a moment. Toby looked at them all apologetically before reaching for the doorknob.

The door had merely creaked open an inch before bursting open, nearly sending Toby flying backward. In walked a panic stricken Emily, a nervous looking Hanna, and an apologetic looking Ella.

* * *

"How could you tell them?!" Aria screamed at her mother as she stalked over to the car, Ella following close behind. Once they reached the car in the parking lot of the Brew, Aria spun around to face her mother fully, rage evident in her prominent dark features. "Do you realize what it took for me to convince her to even tell _you_?!"

"Aria-"

"I was finally getting her to open up," Aria seethed, running straight over her mother's attempt to interrupt as her body shook with anger. "We were planning on slowly dipping our toes in the pool with this. I was just starting to introduce the idea of her reporting Wren!"

"Well that clearly didn't go well, now did it?" Ella blurted, finally managing to get a word in. Throughout Aria's outburst, she was trying her hardest to remain calm, but when Aria was screaming at her within earshot of the entire town, it was becoming increasingly harder.

"You're right, it didn't," Aria agreed curtly, crossing her arms as she leaned against the side of the car. "But it got her to open up, and with time I bet I could've gotten her there. But because you practically pushed her into the deep end, I probably won't be able to do that now!"

"Aria, you left me no choice when I came home to find you both gone," Ella scolded. "I didn't know what to think! I thought something terrible happened-"

"Something terrible did happen!" Aria screamed. "She ran off, so I went after her!"

"But you didn't leave a note, you didn't call or text-"

"I panicked," Aria said, her voice faltering slightly as she put her trembling hand up to her face. "I wasn't thinking, so I just... ran after her!"

"Well, then you can't get mad at me for assuming the worst," Ella said simply with a shrug of her shoulders.

Aria stared at her mother in disbelief. Why couldn't she get what a terrible decision she made? "I made a promise that I would protect Spencer," she said sharply.

"Yeah, well you also made a promise to me, remember that?!" Ella said loudly, now the one shouting. "After this happened to Spencer, I have barely been able to sleep at night knowing that something like this could easily happen to you. You promised that you would stay safe, and you did nothing but worry me when you ran off like that! How do you think I felt?"

Aria froze, and she felt her blood pressure start to drop. She did remember promising her mother that, but she was doing everything she could to take care of Spencer, and if that put her safety at risk then so be it.

But she knew her mother wouldn't come to terms with that. Her mother wanted nothing more than to know that she was safe, and that long amount of time where she didn't must've been filled with torture and worry. Aria felt terrible.

Ella gave Aria a meaningful glare before crossing her and walking over to the drivers side of her car, which she got into. Aria sighed before joining her in the passenger seat, only to find her mother sitting still and staring ahead blankly.

"Mom," Aria whispered, "I... I had no idea."

"Clearly not," Ella said sarcastically.

Aria bowed her head. "Look, Spencer and her mother don't have the best relationship, and for her to find out something like this so suddenly is... it's gonna be hard for her. And Hanna and Emily-"

"I'm sorry for what I did," Ella said sincerely. "I was just truly concerned that something had happened. To both of you. Spencer is not my child, but I feel responsible for her just as much as I do to you."

"I didn't mean to worry you," Aria said genuinely. "I was just worried about Spencer. When she ran off..." Aria felt tears welling up in the back of her throat, and tried her best to swallow them so she could continue talking. "It made me realize what a horrible friend I'm being."

Ella jolted her head up in shock. "Honey, what would make you say that?"

"I said I'd take care of her," Aria said, her voice startling Ella in how it was an octave lower than her normal one and filled with shame. "But I'm... I'm not. I haven't been."

Ella hesitantly reached out to Aria's hand, and clasped it in a motherly way.

"You're doing the best you can, and that's what should matter," Ella explained compassionately. "It's just a little hard to handle this situation when its just the two of you. But now that Hanna and Emily know, maybe it will get easier. Maybe Spencer can get the help she needs."

Aria just stared ahead as she rested her head against the seat, hoping more than ever that her mother's words would turn out to be true.

* * *

Veronica drove down the road at a steady pace; almost too steady. Every few seconds she would avert her eyes toward Spencer, who was sitting in the front seat with her arm propped up against the window, a cloudy look in her eyes as she stared blankly ahead. Eventually, Veronica sighed and slowed the car down completely as she pulled over to the side of the road.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked monotonically as Veronica put the car in park.

Veronica turned to her daughter so that she was facing her fully. "Spencer, are you ever going to tell me what happened?"

"You care?" Spencer snapped. Veronica lurched back at this, completely shocked that Spencer would even suggest such a thing.

"Of course I care," she answered softly. "Why wouldn't I? You're my daughter, Spencer. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Well I am, Mom," Spencer said simply, yet without bothering to hide the touch of anger in her voice. "I've been hurt for a week now, and you haven't even given me a second thought."

"Mrs. Montgomery said you and Aria had the flu," Veronica said genuinely. "She said she didn't want me coming over."

"But a true mother would've fought that!" Spencer said aggressively, now turning to face her mother with an icy stare that shot straight through to Veronica's heart. "You didn't argue, you didn't come over anyway, you just accepted it. Why would you just accept something like that?"

"Spencer-"

"And you can't do what you're doing right now," Spencer interrupted fiercely, now turning to face forward as she crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly. "You can't just ignore me for my entire life and then jump in when something happens to me as though you've shown concern all along. You just can't do that, Mom!"

Veronica winced. Never, ever, had Spencer spoken to her like this. Normally, she would've said something back. She would've scolded Spencer for having the audacity to speak to her like that. But right now, when Spencer was sitting next to her, looking so fragile and broken, Veronica didn't feel the need to say anything. She just wanted to know what happened that would put Spencer in this state. And she wanted to take her out of it.

She wanted to make up for all of the time that, apparently, she hadn't been a good parent to Spencer.

"I'm sorry for all of that sweetie," she whispered tearfully. "But whatever happened to you... It must've been something terrible. And I don't like the idea of anyone doing something terrible to my kids."

"You've never shown concern before," Spencer whispered back, now turning away from her mother to face the window.

"If I haven't," Veronica said apologetically, "I want to be able to make up for that now."

Spencer had to dig her fingernails into the palm of her hand to stop herself from whipping back around and falling into her mother's arms. She had to be strong. There was no way she was going to forgive her mother so easily after she had spent so much of her life putting Spencer to the side, completely neglecting her while focusing so much on Melissa and her own work, thereby forcing Spencer to grow up on her own.

Of course, if it weren't for her being forced to become independent, Spencer wouldn't be the person she was today. She'd be someone entirely different. But then she wouldn't have anything to prove, and she definitely wouldn't have as big of a problem with this incident with the rape that she was having now.

When Spencer remained silent for a full minute, Veronica sighed and then started the car back up. Spencer could see, in the reflection in the window, her mother's warm brown eyes staring at her, surveying her.

"I'm sorry Spencer," she said softly. "I just hope that you'll tell me when you're ready."

Spencer bowed her head, letting her mother's words truly sink in before responding, "I hope so, too."

* * *

**Congrats to xXFluffyTazzyXx for getting SEMI close to guessing! They guessed someone's mom or dad as part of their guess... I love how no one suspects that it would ever be Spencer's because Spencer's parents are just never around. Ever. Rosewood parenting ladies and gentlemen. Now, I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but be on the lookout! You'll have the confrontation from Hanna and Emily that you've all been waiting for, I can tell you that! And remember: the more reviews I get, the faster I put it up ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Wow, what a great response last chapter! Thanks you guys :) and I know you're all dying to see Hanna and Emily react to what happened to Spencer, so here you go! Don't forget to review, because you guys have been so good lately!**

* * *

"So wait," Hanna began, trying to process the information that was just given to her as her eyes gradually grew in size. "He just grabbed you, and... and..."

"Yeah," Spencer said, nodding her head as she cut Hanna off before she had to relive the gory details. "Yeah, that's what he did."

As soon as Spencer and her mother had pulled up into the driveway, Hanna and Emily were sitting outside, waiting for them to get home. Veronica figured that Spencer would want to talk to them, so she invited the girls in and left them in the kitchen while she went upstairs, giving them some privacy.

It was just more proof to Spencer that her mother didn't understand her at all.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Emily whispered, not bothering to disguise the hurt in her voice.

"I didn't tell anyone, Em," Spencer moaned as she put her head in her hands. She loved her friends, she did, but she didn't want to have to deal with this right now. "I just called Aria to rescue me from the alley, and then when I ran off, she told Toby, and..." She now raised her head to look up at her friends. "And now I'm telling you."

"Spencer, this isn't something that should slowly be let out over time," Emily said carefully. "You need to tell someone. A police officer, a doctor-"

"You don't think I've thought of that?" Spencer exclaimed furiously. "I've barely slept for the past week because I've been so caught up debating over whether I should say anything, whether I should get help, everything! No one seems to realize how hard this is for me, and everyone wants me to deal with every problem going on in my life all at once!"

Emily and Hanna both took a big step back, suddenly scared from Spencer's outburst. But Spencer didn't even take this into account. She just kept going.

"I eventually would've told you guys," she explained harshly, "but it wasn't right for you to push your way into my life. I wasn't ready for this."

"We didn't push our way into your life, Spencer!" Hanna snapped. "We were worried sick! Once A sent us that text-"

"Wait, back up," Spencer said abruptly. "What did you just say?"

Hanna stopped talking, a little taken aback that Spencer had not just interrupted Emily, but now her, too. "I said that we were worried sick."

"No," Spencer said softly, feeling her hands start quivering. "After th-that."

Hanna mentally ran through her last sentence in her mind before stopping short, her eyes widening once she realized her mistake.

Spencer gulped loudly, tucking her hands under her thighs to stop them from shaking so vigorously. "Did you just say A sent you a text?"

Hanna pursed her lips into a thin line, as if by doing so she would erase everything she had just said.

"A knows about this?" Spencer croaked, looking up at her friends with terror in her features. "A knows that this happened to me?"

"Way to go," Emily muttered bitterly to Hanna. She thought she was being discreet, but this did not go unnoticed by Spencer.

"You two were going to hide this from me?!" she shouted angrily.

"We didn't want to worry you," Emily said hastily. "We didn't know what happened, and when you said that A didn't do this to you-"

"You decided it'd be a good idea to hide the fact that the person who is trying to ruin my life has found something else to use against me?" Spencer finished sarcastically. "I totally see how that makes sense. Thanks alot guys."

"Spencer," Hanna said sternly. "You can't get mad at us for being concerned for you."

Spencer opened her mouth to retort that there was no reason to be concerned, but she retreated. She had just admitted to Aria and Toby that there was definitely a reason to be concerned. If she denied that now, she'd just be taking a step backwards.

And Spencer never took steps backwards. Ever.

"I'm sorry," she whispered finally. "This has just been really hard on me."

There was a pause, before Spencer lowered her head and said quietly, "And please don't say something like 'Oh I can only imagine' or 'Yeah I bet'. I've gotten way too much of that this past week. I've gotten way too much pity. And I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me."

Emily nodded her head at this. When Maya died, everyone was giving her pitiful stares and whispering about how sorry they felt for her. She appreciated it at first, knowing that people cared about her, but later she began to resent it.

Spencer picked at the week-old nail polish on her right pointer finger, obviously uncomfortable. "Guys, I didn't tell you not to say anything."

"But Spencer, what are we supposed to say?" Emily said sadly as she placed a hand on Spencer's arm. "We love you, and we want to be able to tell you that."

"I love you guys, too," Spencer answered honestly. "Too much for you to have to see me like this."

"Well we do see you," Hanna said confidently as she placed her hand on Spencer's arm as well. "And we're ready to help you."

Suddenly, the back door opened. All three girls looked up to the door, and found Aria standing in the doorway.

"It was unlocked," she explained. All of the girls mumbled in understanding as Aria slowly stepped into the room.

"We were just trying to figure out what Spencer's going to do now," Hanna said, filling Aria in. At this, Spencer shot her head up.

"What do you mean what I'm going to do now?" Spencer asked, a sharpness to her tone.

Hanna, sensing this, flinched. "Well, aren't you going to report him?"

"Who said that?" Spencer said quickly, her eyes widening, then darting toward Aria. "Did you tell them, too!?"

"What?" Aria said, clearly caught off guard for the question.

"Did you tell them that I agreed to report him?" Spencer barked. "You did, didn't you? How could you do that?"

"When would I have told them, Spencer?!" Aria shouted. "I only told Toby because I needed him to help me find you, I didn't tell anyone else! I wouldn't betray your trust like that! Can't you see that they think that because it's the logical thing to do!? Don't you think this should be some sort of hint to you?!"

"Well it's not!" Spencer shouted back, standing up now. She stumbled a little, as she was still weak, but caught her balance as she walked forward slowly.

"Don't you think that the way I'm acting should be some sort of hint to you that I'm not ready for this?!" she cried, tears streaming down her face as she looked to Aria in desperation. "All of you are pushing me to make a decision that I'm not ready to make."

"Spencer, calm down," Hanna said gently from behind.

"No, I'm not going to calm down Hanna!" Spencer yelled, turning around to face Hanna, an animalistic look in her brown eyes. Hanna couldn't stop the squeak of fear that escaped her mouth, and Spencer softened slightly when she heard it.

But Emily heard it too, so she leaped into action. "Spencer, you need to stop avoiding this and take action," she said forcefully. She was done playing around; she needed to get the message through to Spencer. "According to you two, this happened a week ago? Your bruises are going to fade, Spencer. If you wait too long, it'll be too late. No one will believe you!"

"Maybe I don't need them to believe me," Spencer said stubbornly, crossing her arms over each other. "I don't need to report Wren."

"The Spencer I know wouldn't want him to get away with this!"

Spencer whipped around, to see Aria standing firmly before her after shouting this. She looked angry, but Spencer knew her well enough to know that she really wasn't. Instead she was just... sad. Frustrated.

"The Spencer I know would want to take action, and take his worthless ass down," she whispered icily.

Spencer froze. Aria was absolutely right. Spencer would want to take Wren down. She would want to make Wren suffer for everything he did to her.

So why couldn't she?

The answer was crystal clear.

"That Spencer is gone," she growled, sending a chill down Aria's, as well as Hanna's and Emily's, spine, before Spencer raced up the stairs without another word.


	14. Chapter 14

A week had passed, and Spencer and Aria had returned to school with the other two girls. Well, at least Aria had. Spencer was at school, but she was only halfway in. When she would leave home, she wore long sleeved shirts and pants to cover up all of the bruises on her arms and legs, which were turning greenish in color, and she caked on as much foundation as possible to cover up the bruises on her face. She would go to school, not pay attention during any of her classes, then go home, toss her backpack on the floor and collapse on her bed, only to stare up at the ceiling purposelessly.

Everyone was worried about her. Her mother would constantly go upstairs to check on her, only to get a mumbled, illegible response as Spencer rolled over onto her side. Her friends and Toby would constantly come over with coffee or food, even books (Hanna felt that if they were going to bring Spencer back to health, they might as well do it in her language), but Spencer turned them all down, claiming she wasn't hungry, thirsty, OR eager for knowledge. Even Melissa had dropped by a few times, but only to comment on how pathetic Spencer looked sprawled despondently across the bedspread.

Spencer toned all of them out. She was tired of people commenting on how she was acting. If this was her way of dealing with the situation, then so be it. If she didn't want to report Wren, then that was that.

But what Aria had said earlier had struck straight to the heart.

_"The Spencer I know wouldn't want him to get away with this!"_

And Spencer had promptly told her, told Emily and Hanna, and told herself that that Spencer was gone.

But deep down, Spencer knew that her old self was still there. She just needed to search for her.

She knew that her friends were right, and that she needed to find the courage to report Wren and seek justice, but there was a part of her that didn't find it a very courageous thing to do. If she reported Wren, she'd be giving into him. It was probably just what he wanted; for her to admit that she was giving up, that she was weak. But Spencer knew that she wasn't weak.

At the same time, though, it was a weak thing for her to let him get away with it.

Spencer sat up as she took the pillow from behind her head and brought it up to her face, screaming into it as she choked on her own sobs, and on her own confusion and conflicted feelings. She was lost.

* * *

Aria pulled up into the Hastings driveway with some Chinese takeout in the passenger seat. She knew Spencer loved it, so she was hoping that today would finally be the day that she decided to eat something. She had lost so much weight over the past couple of weeks, and it couldn't be healthy.

When she got out of the car and walked around to the other side to get the food, something caught her eye. Further up the driveway was a rusty old pickup truck that was parked right in front of the garage. And sure enough, Toby slid out of the driver's seat in the pickup truck with a bag of food in his hand as well. He had come to Spencer's house at the same time as Aria, with the same intentions in mind.

Aria squinted against the setting sun as she called, "Toby!"

He spun around, and a wave of relief washed over his face when he saw Aria. He jogged over to her, stopping when he was directly in front of her.

"I'm glad you're here," he breathed. "Maybe if we team up, we can get her to-"

"To what?" Aria questioned. "Toby, she hasn't said anything for the past week. She just sits there and stares."

"Then why do we bother coming at all?" Toby asked curiously, cocking is head to the side and raising his eyebrow in suspicion.

Aria sighed. She was still trying to figure out the answer to that question.

"Because there's a small part of us that hopes she'll come back," she finally answered, before sadly lowering her head. "But that seems less and less likely every day. What if she's really gone?"

"Gone? No, she can't be gone," he said, his voice cracking. "She's still there. We just need to find her."

Aria looked up to the window, and then at the food in her hand. She then sighed; she knew it was useless, but she still wanted so badly for Spencer to come back out of her shell. At this point, Aria didn't even care if she reported Wren or not! She just wanted her best friend back.

"Let's just go upstairs," Aria said softly, making her way toward the front door.

"How is she?" Toby asked as he walked through the door that Aria held open for him. "Do you know?"

"Don't you?" she asked curiously. "Haven't you been visiting her too?"

"Well, yeah," he said with a shrug as he placed his food on the counter, taking a second to lean against it. "But I got caught up at work yesterday, so I couldn't come visit her. I was wondering if she's made any progress since then."

Aria sighed as she joined Toby at the counter. "Not really," she admitted. "And honestly? Wren got her good. Her bruises have healed only slightly since the incident."

Toby gripped the granite, watching as his knuckles went from pink to white, then back to pink once he released. "He's such an ass," he growled. "I..." Then he stopped. He turned to Aria, suddenly excited. "If she hasn't healed yet, maybe we can report him ourselves! Then Spencer won't have a choice, and Wren will go to jail, and-"

"Toby, slow down!" Aria said, standing fully upright now. "We can't do that to Spencer!"

"Why not? She's not going to do it herself!"

"Yes, but she'll hate us for it," Aria said firmly. "Do you really want that?"

"If it means putting that piece of shit in jail, I'll deal with it," Toby said loathingly.

Aria slumped over the counter, pondering over this. If they could report Wren for Spencer, all of their problems would be solved. Spencer would be furious with them, but Aria knew she'd get over it.

_No,_ she thought to herself suddenly. _I'm not going to do that to her. I betrayed her trust already with Toby; I won't let that happen again._

Yet at the same time, Aria knew she made a promise to protect Spencer. If she reported Wren, Spencer would be out of harms way.

Toby was looking at her, waiting for an answer. Aria suddenly stood up, giving him the most determined look that she could. "I'm in."

* * *

**Hey guys! So I finished writing this story, and there are only a couple chapters left. Honestly, I haven't been as into this story as I was when I first started writing it because it was hard to find a direction for it to go in, so I kind of rushed the ending, but that's just because an even greater story is in the works for you guys ;) it's going to take me FOREVER to write, but I'm so excited to get to share it with you all, it's something I'm really proud of! It's going to be a PLL/Harry Potter crossover (haven't decided on a name yet) so be sure to follow me if that's something that you'd be interested in reading so that you know when it comes out. And for all the guest reviewers out there... just be on the lookout for it! This chapter was shorter, but the next one will be a lot longer, so brace yourselves! Also, you guessed it, REVIEW!**


	15. Chapter 15

**What were you guys's thoughts on that premiere? I liked it, but it was a little underwhelming for me. The best part, though, was Mona. Freakin' Mona, I love that girl. "Oh Emily, I borrowed your car... yeah, I have my own set." That was the ****_one time_**** I laughed during that episode. Everything else was so solemn. Hanna/Mona made me wanna cry, Aria/Ezra made me wanna cry (and that dream sequence scared the everliving shit out of me), ****_Toby_**** made me wanna cry at the end... so much crying. But then, alas, there's Paily. How cute was that scene with them?! Okay, enough rambling, but definitely let me know what you thought in your reviews! As well as what you thought of this next chapter of course ;)**

* * *

Spencer opened her eyes as she adjusted them to the sudden shift in light in the room. She hadn't actually fallen asleep; she had just tried her hardest to slowly drift into some form of a slumber. But it hadn't worked.

She slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes sleepily and pawing at her nose, which was twitching slightly from catching onto a certain scent. She suddenly perked up, sniffing the air. Chinese food.

Her stomach growled. She'd barely eaten anything in the past couple of weeks, and the exotic scent that had wafted up the stairs smelled more than appealing. Sighing, she unraveled herself from the sheets and trudged down the stairs to see where the scent was coming from.

When she got down to the kitchen, she was a little confused. On the counter was the food in question, but there was no one there. She walked up to the counter, and was surprised to see that there was no note or anything to indicate who had gotten this for her. She didn't even know if it was for her!

"Mom?" she called, listening as her voice echoed throughout the empty house. It didn't seem like her mom was home. Had one of her friends brought it for her?

"Emily?" she tried calling. "Hanna? Aria? Toby?"

There was no answer. Someone had just brought the food and left it there.

_That's weird_, she thought suspiciously as she ripped the bag open and pulled out an egg roll, taking time to put it in her mouth and chew it thoughtfully. But the more she thought about it, the more this seemed like a well laid out scheme to get Spencer to eat without hovering over her. She had to admit, it had worked. She was already starting to feel a little better.

By the time she got to her second egg roll, her phone chimed.

_Maybe that's one of them to tell me who got this_, she thought to herself as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

But when she read the message, and who it was from, she spit the half eaten egg roll straight out of her mouth and onto the counter.

_All that food and no one to share it with. Wonder why? Take a look._

_-A_

Attached was a photo of Rosewood Police Station, and the backs of two people, a boy and a girl. The boy was tall, the girl was petite. The boy had sandy brown hair, the girl had long, dark brown hair.

It didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that this was Toby and Aria, and it didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out why they were walking toward the police station. Or what they were doing.

_I am going to KILL them!_ Spencer thought angrily as she impulsively sprinted out the door. She didn't get in her car. She wasn't driving now. She was just going to keep running, running as hard and as fast as she could until she reached the police station.

* * *

Aria tried to sit still in the chair in the lobby of the police station, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop her legs from shaking. Toby would've done something to calm her down, but he was in bad shape as well. He walked over to where she was sitting, his third cup of coffee in hand. Normally Spencer was the one who couldn't quell her caffeine addiction, but right now it was rubbing off on him. They had been sitting here for an hour, and the people in charge still hadn't gotten to them, and they were both getting impatient.

Aria turned to Toby. "Can I have a sip?"

He looked down, then placed a steady hand on her quivering thigh. "I think caffeine is the last thing you need right now," he said cautiously.

She sighed, knowing he was right. "Should it really take this long for them to get to us?" she asked exasperatedly. "I mean, what could possibly be going on that's more important?"

"It's Rosewood," he said with a shrug. "There's always something."

Aria huffed. It was completely true. 2 years ago she would've complained that nothing ever happened in a minuscule town like Rosewood, but now, she would've traded that old uneventful town with the town she was currently living in any day.

"Okay," she breathed, looking up at him after a few minutes. "So we go in, we tell them everything Wren did, and we just get it over with."

"Just rip it off like a bandaid," Toby agreed, sounding as though he was trying to convince himself that this was going to be an easy task.

Aria nodded her head, puffing her cheeks full of air as she did so, then slowly releasing the air as she slumped down in her chair. "And then what? What do we tell Spencer?"

Toby scratched his head, pondering intently over this, but before he could so much as open his mouth to answer, a door slam was heard on the other side of the hall.

"Miss, where are you going?" Toby and Aria heard a police officer yell. "You can't go that way unless you've talked to-"

"_Let go of me_," they heard a female voice growl.

Toby and Aria simultaneously shot out of their chairs, the hair on the backs of their necks standing up and the blood pumping through their bodies chilling to ice. Was that...

Spencer stormed into the waiting room, her hair in a messy bun on top of her head and her clothes wrinkled and tattered from doing nothing but sleep in them for such a long time. There was a crazed look in her eyes as she stared down both Toby and Aria.

"That's right," she seethed. "You're _busted_."

"Spencer-" Toby began.

"What the _fuck_ do you two think you're doing?" Spencer barked, glaring at the pair. "You were seriously about to do that to me?"

"We want what's best for you!" Aria tried to reason. "And the only way to see through with that is if Wren is in jail."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to report Wren?!" Spencer shouted. Aria's eyes widened, and she glanced around the room panickingly before grabbing Spencer's arm and pulling her in a different direction.

"Aria, I'm not finished!"

"We'll continue this in a second," Aria said through gritted teeth as she glared sternly at Spencer. She kept walking forward until she reached a janitor's closet, of which she promptly darted inside, with Spencer in tow.

Aria closed the door and locked it before facing Spencer, breathing heavily. She was running on a lot of nervous energy right now, but that didn't mean it didn't take a lot for her to drag a riled up Spencer across the building.

Spencer crossed her arms against her chest. "What the hell was that for?"

"Spencer, we're not going to get anywhere with you making a scene in front of every single police officer in Rosewood," Aria said rationally, yet firmly.

At this, Spencer had to laugh. She threw her head back, cackling maniacally before stomping her foot on the floor and looking back at Aria. "That's great, especially considering that there would be no scene to_ make_ if you and Toby hadn't come here in the first place!"

"How'd you even find out about that?" Aria cried.

"Oh, so you were going to keep this from me? This situation just keeps getting better and better!"

"SPENCER!" Aria shouted. "Tell me now, _how did you find out_?"

Spencer sighed dramatically. "Fine. A sent me a text, okay?"

Aria froze, but then her shoulders drooped almost automatically. "Damn A!"

"You know, for once it's not even A's fault," Spencer said gruffly, causing Aria to whip her head toward Spencer.

Spencer narrowed her eyes at Aria, a cold, distant look in them. "A knows about this, and A will find some way to use it against me. I know this, and I've almost become _prepared_ for this by now! Because it's become _predictable_! But I hope you know that nothing, _nothing_, could've prepared me for what you and Toby were about to just do."

"We were trying to help you, Spencer!" Aria cried desperately. "Why can't you see that? We want to _help_ you! You're the one who admitted to us that you needed help!"

"But you're not helping! You're just making it worse!"

"Spencer." Aria was speaking softly now as she walked forward, taking Spencer's hands in hers. "You are one of the strongest people I've ever known, and it hurts so much to have to see you like this." Tears were now threatening to spill from Aria's eyes, but she ignored them. She just kept looking up at Spencer as she held her hands firmly in her grasp. "But if you report Wren, if you have him locked up for _good_, you won't have to feel this way anymore."

"I won't feel this way for long," Spencer said hastily as she pulled her hands back and turned around so that only her back was facing Aria. "I'll get over it. But I can't report Wren. I need to get stronger on my own, and I'd just be a coward if I turned him in."

"How is wanting justice for him _assaulting_ you being a coward?" Aria exclaimed in frustration and confusion, throwing her hands up in true wonderment.

"Because I-"

But Spencer stopped short, because as she started to retort back, she had whipped back around to face Aria, and something had caught her eye.

When Spencer faced Aria, she caught the sight of Aria's arms halfway in the air, and while they were up there, her sleeves had fallen down to her elbows.

And while they were down to her elbows...

"Aria," Spencer said slowly, finding herself starting to calm down even though her heart was racing, "what is that?"

"What's what?" Aria asked timidly as she self consciously folded her arms against her chest.

Spencer shakily raised her arm to point at Aria's left forearm, still folded against her chest. "Th-that," she stuttered. "That on your arm."

Confused, Aria lifted her left forearm, searching for what Spencer was talking about, until her eyes landed on it. She gasped loudly before shooting her head back up to face Spencer. "I-I..."

"Where did you get that bruise?" Spencer asked curtly, her mind spinning. _What happened?_

Aria lowered her head as she tucked a hair behind her ear. "I'm not sure."

"You're lying," Spencer spat, as blunt and as dry as possible. "_Where did you get it?_"

Finally, Aria sighed, raising her head to look at Spencer dead on. "Wren gave it to me."

Spencer felt her blood run cold. "What?"

Aria wiped the tears off of her cheeks as she leaned against the door. "When you passed out outside of that bar," she began softly, "Toby and Wren started arguing, and I tried defending Toby, but I said something and-"

"_What did he do to you?_" Spencer growled, anger evident in her voice, along with a hint of fear.

Aria gulped loudly and finally before responding. "He just grabbed my arm harshly and pulled me into the alley so we could talk."

"He gripped you hard enough to give you a bruise that big?!" Spencer squealed. As Spencer looked more closely at it, she noticed the bruise on Aria's arm had turned a purplish-black over time, and it was in the shape of a hand print.

Now, Aria was very fragile already. She barely passed 110 pounds. She once just about flew across the room when Hanna gave her a playful shove on the arm. She once got a broken nose in 3rd grade when someone had tripped her, causing her to fall flat on her face. And if she was known for anything, it was how easily she got hurt, and how easily she _bruised_.

So maybe Wren was trying to hurt her, or maybe he wasn't, but that didn't matter. It just mattered that he _did_.

"It's nothing, Spence," Aria said softly. "We're not focused on me right now! We're focused on you-"

"What else did Wren do?" Spencer whispered desperately. She was looking at Aria with pleading eyes, begging to know whom she was dealing with.

Aria felt her breath catch in her throat, but eventually folded. She needed to be honest. "He... He punched Toby in the nose."

"WHAT?!"

As Spencer stood there, trying to process the large amount of information that was presented to her, there was a knock on the door. Aria unlocked it, and the door to the closet swung open. In walked Toby.

"Are you girls okay?" he asked, his blue eyes wide with concern. But as Spencer looked more closely at his face...

_No_.

There it was. A deep cut, that was scabbed over now, right along the side of Toby's nose where Wren's fist had met his skin. How had she not noticed it before?!

Spencer felt herself start to fall backward, and felt around behind her for the nearest chair before plopping herself into it.

Wren had hurt Toby. He had hurt the one that Spencer loved, the one that she wanted so much to be with, but had to keep telling herself that she wasn't ready. He had hurt Spencer's safe place to land.

He had hurt Aria, her best friend. The one that she trusted with her life, the one that knew everything about Spencer, even more than Spencer sometimes knew herself. The one that had been so patient with her these past few weeks, and had done everything in her power to protect her.

Wren had hurt them, all because of Spencer.

For so long, Spencer had been trying to decide what would be the weaker move: to report Wren, or to suck it up and not let him get to her. But now the stronger option was clear.

She was being a coward by sitting back and watching Wren hurt her _and_ hurt the people she cared about.

Watching _her_ hurt the people she cared about by making them watch her throw herself into this downward spiral.

It wasn't just about her anymore; it was about Toby, it was about Aria, it was about everyone who had made the effort to make a difference in her life.

And she was ready to make a difference in theirs.

With that, Spencer shot up from her sitting position and darted out of the janitor's closet, past Toby and Aria, despite their cries of surprise, all the way to the lobby, where a cop was sitting at a desk, flipping mindlessly through a magazine, seemingly off duty.

With a wave of energy and courage surging through her, Spencer stalked up to the man and yanked the magazine out of his hands before throwing it on the floor.

The man sat up slightly, shocked. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

Spencer pressed her quaking hands to the table before finally looking up at the man, determination swirling in her brown eyes. "I think I'm reporting a rape."

* * *

**Boom.**

**One more chapter left guys! Seriously, review your faces off for this chapter. Was this a good way for Spencer to come to terms with herself? Was it not? Let me know!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, HOW great was that last episode?! It totally made up for the anticlimactic premiere, I'll tell you that. Seriously, though, everyone just took the crazy up to 11 this week and it was so fantastic and entertaining to watch. And the girls were so BITCHY! Literally all of them would just run over each other with their own problems, and normally when it's just one of them doing that it gets annoying, but when they ALL do it? Brilliant. Do you guys trust Mona? I have mixed feelings on trusting her, but MAN do I wanna be friends with that girl. Mona Vanderwall? Try Mona Vanderjesus (I saw that online somewhere, and I loved it. If only I could remember where...)**

**ANYWAY, unfortunately what goes up must come down, and what comes down is this story. This is the last chapter, and it's a little long, BUT I think you guys will be happy with how it ends :) Don't forget to review/favorite/WHATEVER to let me know how you like it! Thank you all so much for reading my story, and be on the lookout! I'm going to be writing a LOT this summer, or at least I plan to, and I've got some stuff coming up that I'm looking forward to. For example, I have my PLL/Harry Potter crossover that I'm so, so, SO excited for. It won't be published for a while, but I'm really excited for you guys to read it. So thank you all again, and I hope to see you all in the reviews of my next story! :D**

* * *

"Alright, so let's start from the beginning," the officer, who could be no older than 26, said gently as he opened up a manila folder with a form inside, waiting to be filled. He then opened the drawer at the front of his desk and pulled out a black pen, and clicked it once before settling himself into a writing stance. "You said you were raped."

Spencer, sitting across from the officer in his office, allowed herself a few deep breaths before answering. "Yes. I was."

"Can you please tell me what happened? And be as detailed as possible?"

Spencer felt her breath catch in her throat. She didn't know if she could. Reliving that night was going to be extremely painful.

The officer noticed her hesitance, so he looked away from his papers and up at her, kindness swimming in his grey eyes. "I'm sorry," he said genuinely. "It's just procedure. But I need to know in order to accurately report this person. What did you say his name was again?"

"Wren Kingston," Spencer said emotionlessly as the officer started to jot down notes. "He... he started by flirting with me."

"Flirting?" the officer asked for clarification.

Spencer nodded her head. "But then he got aggressive," she continued, and her tone changed. It was darker, harsher. "He almost seemed... threatening. And I didn't feel safe, so I walked away."

"And then?"

Spencer swallowed the small pool of saliva that was collecting at the front of her mouth, which was becoming more dry and more dehydrated by the second. "And then he caught up to me, and he pulled me into an alley... and started beating me."

The officer wrote all of this down, before looking up. "I'm guessing you have bruises?"

Spencer nodded as she brought her hand up to her face to wipe away the mound of foundation she had applied to her left cheek, where Wren had slapped her before promptly slamming her into the brick wall. She then started to unbutton her flannel shirt, of which she was wearing a concealing tank top under, but she found that she couldn't do it. Her hands were fumbling and shaking so badly that she couldn't properly unbutton her own shirt. She kept trying, but it was no use, and she got so frustrated that she felt tears start to form in the corners of her eyes. She tried her hardest to hold them back, but then her lip started to quiver, and she knew she would burst if she kept trying to hold back.

She let out a strangled sob, startling the officer, who looked lost, unsure of how to help her. He got up from his chair and went over to Spencer, placing a hand on her back. "Hey, it's okay," he said softly. "It's okay if it's too much for you. We don't have to do this right now."

"Yes we do," she mumbled angrily. She wanted to get this overwith. She wanted Wren gone, out of her life, for good. Spencer pushed the officer away as she turned back to the table, leaning over it as she placed her chin on her hands, which were folded together and held up in front of her, and stared down at the file on the other side of the table.

"Please, just continue."

* * *

"We came here as fast as we could. What happened?!"

Hanna and Emily had just burst through the doors of the station, breathing heavily as they leaned forward, gasping for air. Once they got Aria's "S.O.S." text, they came running.

Aria just shook her head. "She just ran up to the officer out of nowhere and..."

"And what?" Emily reached down to grab Aria's shoulders, shaking her forcefully to get through to her. "_What, Aria_?"

Aria blinked a few times, disoriented, but then pulled herself together to answer Emily's question. "She's reporting Wren right now."

Emily froze, stumbling backward slightly, and Hanna just stood there, opening and closing her mouth like a fish, trying to think of what to say.

"She did it," Hanna whispered. "She listened to us."

"What changed her mind?" Emily asked.

Aria looked down at the bruise on her arm, slowly putting the pieces together in her mind what had caused Spencer to snap. But before she could voice this out loud, Hanna grabbed Aria's arm, carefully inspecting the hand-shaped print wrapped around it.

"Ow!" Aria yelped. "Easy, Han!"

"Aria, what the hell is this?" Hanna asked roughly, and Aria just pulled her arm back and pulled her sleeve down. She then leaned in closer, making sure both Hanna and Emily were listening closely.

"Wren gave it to me," she whispered. "But it was nothing! He just grabbed my arm, and-"

"Nothing?" Hanna exclaimed. "Aria, that's huge! Wren did that?"

"Yeah, and that's exactly what Spencer said," Aria said timidly.

"She didn't want to be a victim anymore," Toby said as he walked up to the girls, "and she didn't want others to be the victim for her." He then scratched at the scab at the end of his nose, and Emily and Hanna took note of it, too.

"Wren did this to both of you?" Emily asked, clearly surprised.

"It'll be okay though," Hanna reasoned, "because Spencer's reporting him. He'll be locked up for good, and that'll be that, right?"

"If everything goes accordingly," Toby said rationally.

* * *

Back in the office, Spencer finished telling the officer everything that happened. He jotted the last couple of notes down before looking up at her. He closed the file, stood up from his desk, and walked over to her.

"You did a very brave thing by reporting him," he said comfortingly. Spencer just nodded her head. She didn't _feel_ brave, but she supposed that that was what she was being. Now Wren would be punished, and he wouldn't hurt her, or her friends, or _anyone_ again. Hopefully.

She exited the office and walked back into the lobby, where she was immediately greeted by Aria and Toby, along with Hanna and Emily, who had showed up as well.

"Spencer!" they exclaimed, jumping up to engulf her in a hug. For a few seconds, she felt trapped, and wanted out, but then she relaxed. Her friends wouldn't hurt her, and the one person who _would_ hurt her would soon be behind bars from what they were making of it.

Once they all pulled back, Emily reached for Spencer's hand, rubbing it affectionately. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," Spencer said thoughtfully, but she realized after a few seconds that her knees were wobbling and her posture was faltering. Aria caught on quickly, and grabbed Spencer before she could fall over, leading her over to the waiting chairs. Spencer took a few slow, deep breaths, as Aria kneeled down in front of her, looking into her eyes. "You did the right thing, Spence."

"Yeah," Spencer gasped. "I know."

Aria gave her knee a rub, and Toby sat down in the chair next to Spencer, joining the two. Spencer looked at Toby, then back at Aria. "When I saw that he had hurt you guys, too, something in me just... snapped. I never wanted that to happen."

"It's not your fault, Spence," Toby said sincerely.

Spencer just nodded her head, but deep down she knew it was, and she _needed_ to compensate for it. When she finally gained the courage to report Wren, she realized something: she had the insane need to take care of others, to be there for them, but what she hadn't realized before was that she needed to be able to take care of herself first, and to let others help her do that. And without the help of Aria, Toby, Hanna, or Emily, she wouldn't have been able to get there. Wren would still be out there, and he would probably have done something to someone else if she hadn't taken action sooner rather than later. By getting to this point, Spencer felt better knowing that she had been able to help a lot of people.

* * *

An hour passed, and Spencer just sat there. Hanna eventually left, apologetically claiming that her mom needed her for something, and Emily confessed that she had a late night swim meet that she had to attend. But Aria and Toby stayed with Spencer, watching the double doors, waiting for the familiar British brunette to be led in by burley cops, handcuffed and all.

Aria turned to Spencer after a while. "What are you going to do when you see him?"

"I don't know," Spencer admitted, staring blankly ahead as she shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I'll just... wing it."

"Well when he comes in, we'll be here for you," Toby said as he put a hand on Spencer's knee.

"Thank you," she said softly. Toby had been so incredibly sweet to her, and she wanted to do something in return for doing this for her. She wanted to repay him for helping her get through this.

Aria, too. Aria had been so patient with her, even when all that Spencer had really done was lash out at her for the past couple of weeks. Spencer couldn't ask for a better friend, and she was so glad that she had called Aria that night to save her when she was lying on the cold ground, about to pass out from blood loss. Aria noticed Spencer staring at her, and delivered a warm smile before standing up from her seat.

"I'm going to get some more coffee," she said. "Either of you two want anything?"

"I'm good, thanks," Toby responded, and Spencer said the same.

Aria nodded her head, before turning to Spencer. "Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," Spencer said with a smile in return. For once, she didn't feel like Aria was hovering over her or obsessively checking up on her like she had felt in the past, and she didn't even flinch when Aria leaned down to kiss her forehead, something Spencer would always to _Aria_ instead when _she_ was upset, before walking away. She actually felt relatively comfortable, being able to relax while someone else took the reins, and she didn't feel out of place having someone else take care of her.

Spencer sat back in her chair and closed her eyes, feeling somewhat at peace for the first time in a while. Toby, noticing this, took a chance and wrapped his arm around her. "Tired?"

"Oh yeah," Spencer sighed, fidgeting slightly as she rested her head against his arm.

Toby looked over toward the double doors, but they remained unmoved. He sighed as he looked back down at Spencer, who was physically and emotionally exhausted.

_What was that song that Aria said helps calm her down?_ Toby thought to himself, racking his brain for who it could be. _Oh, right!_

He leaned in until his mouth was a mere inch away from Spencer's ear, whispering into it, in as quiet of a singing voice as possible:

_Of all the comrades that e'er I had  
The are sorry for my going away  
And all the sweethearts that e'er I had  
They would wish me one more day to stay  
But since it falls unto my lord  
That I should rise and you should not  
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call  
Goodnight and joy be with you all_

Instead of drifting to sleep in the waiting chair, Spencer rose her head slightly, her eyes fluttering open. "How'd you know I liked that song?"

"I asked Aria for anything that might help calm you down," he said with a shrug. "It was for when I would come to see you at your house, and I wanted to know incase... you know, in case it ever came in handy."

Spencer just stared at him in awe, wondering how he could be so perfect. "Toby..." she said softly as tears met the front of her eyes.

"Hey, it's ok!" he said hastily as she started to cry. He immediately sat up and pulled her in for a hug. "Please don't cry! It was supposed to calm you down, not work you up!"

"I'm not crying because I'm upset," she said tearfully as she wiped her eyes and her nose, her arms still wrapped around Toby's shoulders. "I'm crying because..."

"Because why?" he asked, pulling away to look her in the eyes.

She swallowed the rest of her tears before saying, in as quiet of a voice as she could, "Because pretending not to love you is the hardest thing I've ever done."

Toby's blue eyes widened, but then softened. He just sat there, staring at her, wondering what would be appropriate. Should he make a move? Should he just sit there like an idiot? What should he do?

It wasn't until Spencer made the first move that his decision was made. She kissed him, starting out tender and gentle, but then getting more passionate. Finally, after so long, they were reunited. As one. She was ready. She was healed. She was done with Wren, and she and Toby could be together. There was no holding back.

"Well, it's about damn time!"

Toby and Spencer broke apart to see Aria standing before them, arms crossed, with the biggest smirk plastered across her face if Spencer ever saw one. Spencer stood up, staring at Aria suspiciously as she tentatively walked toward her. "Did you..."

"Plan this whole thing out?" Aria finished, raising one thick eyebrow as she stepped forward. "No... but I was hoping that at some point you both would realize that this is where you belong."

Spencer stared down at her friend with true admiration as she leaned down to hug her. "You're amazing."

Aria squeezed Spencer tight before pulling back. "Only because I learn from the best."

"Guys," Toby said apprehensively in the background, and the tone in his voice made Spencer and Aria whip around faster than a spinning top.

There, at the double doors, a pair of cops was pulling Wren into the building, handcuffs on his wrists and wrists behind his back. He didn't protest, he didn't struggle, he didn't say anything; he just kept walking along.

Aria, Spencer, and Toby stood still as statues as Wren walked past them. Once he reached where they were standing, Wren stopped walking. He slowly turned to Spencer, meeting her eyes with a look that shot daggers into her. And yet through his glare, Spencer was almost able to pinpoint... remorse?

But just like that, it was gone, as the police officer kicked at the back of Wren's shins, telling him to keep moving. They kept walking until they reached the hallway where the interrogation offices were. And just like that... he was gone.

Aria rapidly turned around toward Spencer, who still hadn't moved. "Spencer? Are you okay?"

Spencer blinked after a few seconds, but then broke into a smile, the first smile she'd ever cracked in days. "Yeah, I'm okay!"

"She's okay!" Toby cheered slightly, embracing Spencer from the side as he planted a kiss on her cheek. Spencer giggled, before looking toward the both of them; two of the most important people in her life. "So what now?"

Toby and Aria looked to each other, and then looked back at Spencer with a shrug. "You still have that Chinese takeout we got you?" Aria asked

"Absolutely!" Spencer said warmly. She felt amazing, better than she'd felt in so long. She actually felt... free.

Sure, they didn't know who A was. Sure, they didn't know who killed Ali. But Spencer had managed to conquer her fear and get rid of one bad person in her life, and with that in mind, she felt more confident that she'd be able to take out the others.

Spencer then playfully slapped Aria on the arm before breaking out into a sprint. "I'll race you!"

Aria stood back, stunned, as Spencer soared ahead. "Spence, you're still injured!" she called after her.

But Spencer didn't care. She'd be sore once she got to the car, but it was all worth it. Just like the parting glass that a great man once sang about, she had said goodbye. But it was a good kind of goodbye. She had said goodbye to a sore spot in her life, and she was now ready to say hello to a better part.

_ But since it has so ordered been_  
_ By a time to rise and a time to fall_  
_ Come fill to me the parting glass_  
_ Goodnight and joy be with you all_

**~Fin~**


End file.
